Checklist: Does Someone Truly See You?

1. Do They Notice Subtle Changes in You?

  •  They recognize shifts in your mood or energy without being told.
  •  They remember small details you’ve shared in the past.
  •  They observe changes in behavior, expressions, or tone.

2. Do They Listen Deeply?

  •  They listen without interrupting, judging, or giving advice immediately.
  •  They let you fully express emotions without trying to “fix” you.
  •  They reflect back what they hear to ensure understanding.

3. Do They Respect Your Vulnerability?

  •  They treat your feelings as important and valid.
  •  They do not minimize, shame, or dismiss your emotions.
  •  They create emotional safety for honesty.

4. Do They Acknowledge Your Complexity?

  •  They accept contradictions in your personality.
  •  They appreciate your quirks, strengths, and flaws equally.
  •  They do not try to “change” or simplify who you are.

5. Do They Make You Feel Safe Being Yourself?

  •  You can show anger, sadness, or vulnerability without fear.
  •  You feel relaxed and unguarded around them.
  •  You trust them with your inner world.

6. Do They Follow Up and Remember What Matters?

  •  They recall important conversations or emotional details.
  •  They check in thoughtfully without prompting.
  •  They act in ways that show they remember and care.

7. Do They Respect Your Autonomy?

  •  They recognize you as a full, independent person.
  •  They do not try to define, predict, or control you.
  •  They celebrate your individuality, not just how you fit into their life.

8. Can They Sit With Silence or Discomfort?

  •  They are comfortable in quiet or reflective moments.
  •  They can tolerate difficult conversations without defensiveness.
  •  They do not rush to fill emotional space.

9. How Do You Feel After Interacting With Them?

  •  Energized, understood, and safe
  •  Calm, grounded, and emotionally secure
  •  Connected rather than drained or confused

✅ How to Use This Checklist

  • Check honestly, not optimistically — patterns matter more than charm.
  • If someone fails in multiple areas, they may not be able to truly see you.
  • Use this as a guide for emotional boundaries, not a pass/fail test.
  • Over time, consistency is the real test — true seeing emerges in repeated, ordinary moments.

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