This questionnaire is for moments of doubt.
Answer each question with Yes / Sometimes / No.
Notice patterns, not perfection.
How You Feel Inside
- Do I often feel confused after conversations, unsure what just happened?
- Do I replay interactions in my head trying to work out what I did wrong?
- Do I feel anxious, tense, or on edge around this person?
- Do I feel calmer and clearer when I’m away from them?
Self-Doubt & Blame
- Do I regularly question my memory, judgement, or emotional reactions?
- Am I told I’m “too sensitive,” “overreacting,” or “imagining things”?
- Do I apologise often just to restore peace?
- Do I feel responsible for their moods, anger, or withdrawal?
Communication Patterns
- When I raise a concern, does it get turned back on me?
- Do discussions end with me feeling at fault, even when I wasn’t?
- Do problems get minimised, dismissed, or reframed as my issue?
- Do I leave conversations feeling smaller, not resolved?
Boundaries & Needs
- Do I hesitate to express needs for fear of conflict or punishment?
- Are my boundaries questioned, negotiated away, or ignored?
- Do I feel guilty for asking for basic respect?
- Have I stopped asking for things that matter to me?
Sense of Self
- Do I feel less confident than I used to?
- Have I changed to avoid upsetting them?
- Do I feel disconnected from my intuition or inner voice?
- Do I miss the version of myself I was before?
Outside Perspective
- Do friends or family express concern about how I’m treated?
- Do I hide parts of the relationship to protect its image?
- Would I feel uneasy if someone I loved were treated this way?
- If this were happening to my child or best friend, what would I think?
Reality Check
- When something hurts me, is that pain acknowledged — or debated?
- Do apologies come with change, or just explanations?
- Is respect consistent, or conditional on my behaviour?
Quiet Interpretation
- Mostly “No” or “Sometimes” → You may be experiencing emotional confusion or manipulation.
- Frequent self-doubt → This is not a personal flaw; it’s often a signal.
- Feeling unclear, anxious, or diminished → Healthy relationships bring clarity, not confusion.
If you were the problem, clarity would come with effort.
If the dynamic is the problem, confusion persists no matter how hard you try.
You are allowed to trust what your body and mind are telling you.
