When people tell you “just move on,” what they’re really saying is:
“Let the abuser keep going. Let them hurt someone else.”
They act like abuse is a one-off event that magically disappears if you ignore it — but it doesn’t.
Abuse rarely is isolated. It almost never just vanishes.
Too often:
- Folks don’t do the homework — they overlook the red flags.
- Family and friends hope it’ll go away or get hidden.
- People try to sweep it under the carpet because it’s uncomfortable.
And then — when it finally explodes or becomes deadly — the same people say they never saw it coming.
But the signs were there:
- Control
- Threats
- Isolation
- Jealousy
- Denial of responsibility
- Belittling, manipulation, coercion
Saying “move on” doesn’t protect anyone.
It protects the abuser.
It lets the pattern continue.
If you care about real safety, do the hard work:
✔ Learn the red flags
✔ Make local enquiries
✔ Trust the survivor’s experience
✔ Don’t excuse dangerous behaviour
✔ Don’t wait for a tragedy
Because when family can’t face the reality of abuse, the abusive pattern keeps going —
and in too many cases, someone ends up paying with their life.
