The sunk cost trap is a psychological pattern where you keep investing time, money, or emotion into something because you’ve already invested, even when all signs show it’s not good for you anymore.
It’s one of the biggest reasons people stay in bad relationships, toxic friendships, or financially exploitative situations.
🔍 Simple Definition
“I’ve already put so much in… I can’t stop now.”
That’s the sunk cost trap.
You make decisions based on past costs instead of future benefit.
🧠 Why the Brain Falls for It
The brain hates loss.
Walking away feels like admitting defeat, wasting your effort, or proving someone else right.
So instead of cutting losses, the brain tries to justify continuing because:
- You invested months or years
- You gave money, attention, trust
- You hoped for a different outcome
- You don’t want to look “foolish”
- You want your effort to mean something
This is exactly how manipulators keep people hooked.
❤️ In Relationships
The sunk cost trap shows up as:
- “I’ve already given him so much support; I can’t quit now.”
- “I’ve invested 32 years of my life, it has to get better.”
- “If I leave now, what was the point of all that?”
- “Maybe if I try harder, I won’t lose everything I put into this.”
In predatory relationships, the abuser uses this trap:
- They get you to invest early (emotionally, financially, or with time).
- This makes you feel committed.
- Then they start taking more.
Once you’ve invested enough, walking away feels too painful.
That’s the trap.
💸 In Financial Exploitation
Scammers and opportunists know this intuitively:
- They ask a small favour first.
- Then a bigger one.
- Then an even bigger one.
Each yes makes you more likely to keep saying yes, because:
“I’ve already helped him this far…”
🔑 The Escape
A powerful rule to break the sunk cost trap:
👉 “Past investment is not a reason to keep investing.”
Only the future matters now:
- Is this person giving as much as they take?
- Is the relationship balanced?
- Does it feel safe, supportive, and reciprocal?
- Are you getting anything back?
Your past effort is not a debt you must honour —
it’s a lesson, not a chain.
