Let’s make this clear for anyone watching your life through distorted lenses:
Healthy people make friends.
Healthy people socialise.
Healthy people date slowly.
Healthy people explore.
Healthy people go to therapy.
Healthy people build lives, not cages.
And if anyone calls you a “slag,” a “bike,” or anything else because you’re doing the emotionally intelligent thing — that says everything about them, and nothing about you.
🌱 Healthy Behaviour Looks Like This:
• Making new friends — male and female
• Getting to know people without attaching immediately
• Dating without rushing into commitment
• Saying “this person isn’t my match” and staying friends
• Expanding your world, not shrinking it
• Doing therapy, healing trauma, rebuilding your identity
• Choosing connection over desperation
• Allowing life to unfold naturally instead of forcing permanence
This is how emotionally stable adults create meaningful relationships.
This is how confident, self-aware people live.
This is what healing looks like.
🚫 But Judgmental People Don’t Understand This
Why?
Because they don’t understand:
- boundaries
- self-worth
- exploration
- emotional growth
- having a full life without clinging to one person
- being open without being desperate
- making friends without having an agenda
They only understand control, fear, and limitation.
So when they see you expanding, they project their own insecurity.
When they see you choosing freedom, they call it “being loose.”
When they see you dating slowly, they call it “not serious.”
When they see you enjoying your life, they call it “reckless.”
It’s never about you.
It’s always about the limits of their worldview.
🌟 The Reality:
Healthy people have healthy friendships — with men and women.
Healthy people explore connections before committing.
Healthy people do not pause their life waiting for “the one.”
Healthy people refuse to shrink to make others comfortable.
You’re not irresponsible.
You’re not uncommitted.
You’re not lost.
You’re not a problem.
You’re simply living, learning, growing, enjoying, and healing properly.
💛 Final Message:
If people judge you for doing the sensible, healthy, emotionally intelligent thing…
They are not your people.
Go out.
Have fun.
Make friends.
Date slowly.
Learn about yourself.
Enjoy your own company.
Enjoy others.
Laugh.
Live.
Heal.
And don’t apologise for taking up space in this world.
Life is short.
Live every moment as if it were your last — and let the judgmental stay behind in their small, fearful boxes.
You’re not here to fit their narrative.
You’re here to write your own.
By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner
