Use this to understand the sudden switch within minutes.
1. Was he overly intense at the start?
✔️ Big compliments
✔️ Fast emotional connection
✔️ High dopamine energy
✔️ Lots of declarations
If yes:
You’re dealing with love-bombing / emotional impulsivity, not stable attachment.
2. Did his sudden silence come after increased closeness?
✔️ A deep conversation
✔️ A vulnerable moment
✔️ A great date
✔️ A moment where he felt connected
If yes:
This is avoidant attachment.
Closeness = trigger → shut down.
3. Is he recently separated, grieving, or in transition?
✔️ Divorce
✔️ Breakup
✔️ Moved out
✔️ Life upheaval
If yes:
His nervous system is overwhelmed.
This is emotional flooding → withdrawal.
4. Did he change behaviour after you showed confidence or standards?
✔️ You set a boundary
✔️ You were clear about what you want
✔️ You didn’t chase
✔️ You remained independent
If yes:
This triggered insecurity + ego fears.
He pulls back to avoid feeling “not enough.”
5. Did life stress hit him suddenly?
✔️ Work
✔️ Money
✔️ Family
✔️ Legal issues
✔️ Kids (if relevant)
If yes:
Men often go into silent problem-solving mode — not emotional sharing mode.
This is withdrawal for regulation, not rejection.
6. Has his communication dropped but not disappeared?
✔️ Short replies
✔️ Dry tone
✔️ Slow responses
✔️ Less initiative
If yes:
This is dysregulated attachment, not final loss of interest.
He’s overwhelmed but still attached.
7. Did he go from “all-in” to “neutral”?
✔️ No arguments
✔️ No drama
✔️ Just flat energy
If yes:
This is the dopamine drop phase.
Normal, but immature men handle it poorly.
8. Is he acting different only when you’re not physically together?
✔️ Amazing in person
✔️ Cold over text
If yes:
This is emotional inconsistency + low relational skill.
He can feel connection but can’t maintain it.
9. Does his behaviour confuse you more than it comforts you?
✔️ Mixed signals
✔️ Up & down
✔️ Hot & cold
If yes:
You’re not seeing a “mood shift.”
You’re seeing unstable emotional regulation.
10. Does his silence make you doubt yourself?
✔️ You question your worth
✔️ You replay conversations
✔️ You wonder what you did wrong
If yes:
The problem isn’t you.
It’s the emotional gap between his words and his capacity.
Men who are consistent don’t create confusion.
Men who are ready don’t create anxiety.
Men who mean what they say show it with action.
⭐ QUICK SUMMARY: Why He Changed Suddenly
If he went quiet or distant, it’s almost always one of these:
- Avoidant attachment activated
- Dopamine high crashed
- Overwhelmed by life or emotions
- Triggered by intimacy
- Triggered by your confidence
- Old wounds resurfacing
- Not emotionally ready
- Using you for emotional regulation then pulling back
None of these point to you not being enough.
They point to him not being prepared.
By Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
©Linda C J Turner
