When one partner in a Spanish divorce keeps changing lawyers and re-framing their story, it tends to have both legaland psychological layers.
Here’s how it works and what you can do:
⚖️ 1. The Legal Side (Spain)
A. Lawyer changes
In Spain, a party may change their abogado (lawyer) or procurador (court representative) at any time.
Each change must be formally notified to the court. It doesn’t stop or reset your case — it just pauses briefly while the new lawyer accepts representation.
Frequent changes can cause:
- Delays (each lawyer needs time to review the file).
- Administrative confusion (duplicate filings or procedural errors).
- Loss of credibility before the judge, who can easily see the pattern in the record.
Courts generally don’t look kindly on repeated lawyer changes used to stall proceedings; judges can order the process to continue despite a substitution if delay is excessive.
B. “Changing the story”
If your spouse keeps altering their version of events — financial information, dates, allegations — the court deals with this through evidence and consistency:
- Contradictions weaken their testimony.
- Written documents, emails, bank records, and witness statements carry more weight than spoken claims.
- Spanish judges value coherence and stability in statements; erratic or shifting narratives erode credibility.
Your lawyer can simply highlight each inconsistency in writing: “En sus declaraciones anteriores dijo X; ahora afirma Y.”
🧠 2. The Psychological Side
This pattern often points to avoidance of accountability and control through chaos.
Common motivations:
- Regaining power: By changing lawyers or narratives, they stay in control of the process.
- Confusing and exhausting you: Chaos keeps you emotionally reactive while they appear “in charge.”
- Splitting behaviour: They may idealise each new lawyer at first, then devalue them once challenged.
- Narrative rewriting: Changing the story helps them manage shame or fear of exposure.
From a neuroscience standpoint, it reflects threat-based behaviour. The amygdala perceives divorce as rejection, triggering fight-or-flight. Shifting stories and alliances temporarily soothe their anxiety by creating an illusion of mastery.
🪞 3. The Impact on You
Being on the receiving end can feel destabilising — you start doubting what’s real.
That’s exactly what this behaviour exploits: your emotional exhaustion.
When cortisol stays high, clarity drops, making you more vulnerable to intimidation or guilt tactics.
To counter that:
- Ground yourself in facts and documentation, not their narrative.
- Keep a chronological record of statements and lawyer changes.
- Let your own lawyer handle communications — limit direct contact.
- Use relaxation or grounding techniques (slow breathing, movement) to lower stress responses.
💡 4. How to Respond Effectively
- Stay consistent and calm. Judges notice composure.
- Provide clear evidence. Truth needs structure, not drama.
- Don’t chase their version. Simply correct inaccuracies once and move on.
- Document every delay. It may support a request for costs if they’re clearly obstructive.
- Focus on closure. The more predictable you are, the less room there is for manipulation.
❤️ In essence
Constant lawyer changes and shifting stories are rarely about truth — they’re about control.
The court sees the pattern. Stay steady, keep everything in writing, and let consistency speak louder than chaos.
