1. Attraction & Affection
- Brain chemicals:
- Dopamine: thrill, excitement, pleasure.
- Norepinephrine: butterflies, racing heart.
- Testosterone/estrogen: physical desire.
- Characteristics:
- Strong but often short-term.
- Can fade when novelty wears off.
- More about how you make them feel in the moment.
2. Deep Emotional Investment (Commitment Love)
- Brain chemicals & systems:
- Oxytocin & vasopressin: bonding, trust, long-term pair bonding.
- Prefrontal cortex: planning, long-term decision-making (choosing to prioritize you).
- Reduced amygdala reactivity: emotional safety, calmness in presence of partner.
- Characteristics:
- Consistency, not just intensity.
- Actions that show reliability, respect, and care over time.
- Integration into life: including you in future plans, supporting your growth, building trust.
đź’ˇ Psychology Markers of Deep Value (vs. Mere Attraction)
âś… Affection/Attraction Only
- Compliments, flattery, chemistry.
- Desire to be with you when convenient.
- Mood-driven attention (hot/cold).
❤️ Deep Emotional Investment
- Consistency → keeps promises, follows through.
- Respect → values your time, boundaries, needs.
- Communication → shares openly, resolves conflicts, listens.
- Trust-Building → shows transparency, reliability.
- Prioritization → makes you part of his daily and future life.
👉 In neuroscience terms:
- Attraction is limbic (dopamine-driven, thrill-seeking).
- Investment is cortical (prefrontal cortex choosing, oxytocin bonding).
One is a spark. The other is the fireplace that keeps you warm long-term.
