✅ What to Do if Your Abuser Doesn’t Pay Their Debts

Check the name on the bill → If your name isn’t there, you are not responsible.
Close/Separate accounts → End joint bank accounts, utilities, or leases. Keep proof of closure.
Notify creditors in writing → Send a short letter/email:“[Name] no longer resides at this address. Please remove this address from your records. I am not liable for this debt.”
Return their mail → Mark “Not at this address – Return to Sender” and put it back in the post.
Keep a paper trail → Save copies of letters, bills, and notices you’ve returned. They may be useful legally.
Consult legal aid/lawyer → Especially if:
- Your name is wrongly linked.
- You’re being harassed through mail or calls.
Protect your own mail → Consider a P.O. Box or mail redirection service.

Say to yourself: “This is not mine. This belongs to them.”
Breathe deeply when opening/returning letters → calm the stress response.
See each bill as evidence you left for good reasons, not as a burden.
You are no longer their bailout. Their debts are their mirror, not your reflection.
Place a small ritual around it: when you drop their envelope back in the post, imagine dropping their weight out of your life.