There’s an elephant in the room.
Not a subtle, quiet, “maybe no one noticed” kind of elephant — oh no.
This elephant is loud, self-congratulatory, and completely convinced everyone is thrilled to have them there.
Spoiler: We’re not.
1. The Entrance
They arrive late so the whole room has to notice them.
They greet people as if they’re returning from a six-month solo trek across the Sahara, even though they just came from the kitchen.
In their mind: I am lighting up this place.
In reality: We were all fine before you arrived.
2. The Conversation Hijack
No matter what’s being discussed — world events, someone else’s milestone, the weather — it somehow becomes about them.
Someone mentions a holiday? “Well, when I was in Bali…”
Someone’s child graduates? “That reminds me of when I was top of my class…”
Someone talks about grief? “Speaking of sad stories, you should hear about the time my latte was made wrong…”
Psychology calls this narcissistic conversational takeover.
Everyone else calls it annoying.
3. The Oblivious Popularity Complex
They’ve driven away family, alienated friends, and the only people left are:
- Paid staff.
- The delivery guy.
- That one neighbour who can’t say no.
But in their head? I’m surrounded by love and admiration.
It’s delusion with a side of denial.
4. How the Brain Lets Them Stay Clueless
The self-serving bias whispers: It’s not you, it’s them.
The confirmation bias adds: Remember that one person who smiled at you last year? Proof everyone loves you.
Meanwhile, the rest of us are counting the minutes until we can fake a phone call and leave.
5. The Great Elephant Exit Fantasy
Every single person in the room has the same thought: What if the elephant just… left?
Not in a tragic way — just in a finally, we can breathe way.
In an instant, laughter would sound less forced, backs would straighten, and actual conversation could happen.
The harsh truth:
If you think you’re universally adored but your social calendar is emptier than a fridge before payday — you might not be the life of the party. You might just be the reason the party ends early.
