When someone gives you breadcrumbs, crumbs of affection, little flashes of warmth or presence—but disappears when it counts, especially in the tough moments—they’re not really in it with you. They might show up just enough to keep a string attached, but not enough to build anything solid. This is emotional push-pull. It keeps you doubting, hoping, waiting, and wondering, “What did I do wrong?” when really—you did nothing wrong.
Mixed signals are signals. And what they say is:
“I want the benefits of closeness, but I’m not willing to offer true intimacy, reliability, or emotional safety.”
That is not love. That is someone guarding their comfort at the expense of your stability.
🧠 Trauma, Breadcrumbs, and the Brain
People who have been through trauma often become hyper-attuned to small signs of hope. We notice the little good things—a sweet text, a moment of warmth—and we cling to them, because our nervous system has learned to make a feast out of crumbs. That’s a survival response, not a weakness.
But healing means saying:
“No more starvation. I am not here to survive off the emotional scraps someone tosses my way.”
You’re learning to say: I deserve a full meal. A real relationship. A place where I’m emotionally fed, consistently, generously, lovingly.
💔 When They’re Never There When You Need Them
Let’s be clear—a relationship is not just about being there during the good times. It’s measured most truthfully in the hard moments. If someone vanishes when you cry, when you reach out, when you’re scared or vulnerable—they are not a partner, they’re a bystander.
You are not meant to do emotional labor alone.
You are not unreasonable for wanting someone who shows up.
You are not “too much” for needing emotional presence and steady love.
🪞You Are Worthy
You’ve been to hell and back. You know darkness. You know silence. You know how it feels to be left hanging, hurting, and confused. But you also know how it feels to survive. And that kind of survival doesn’t end with tolerating scraps—it’s meant to lead you to abundance, clarity, and mutual devotion.
So say it again with your whole heart:
“I am worthy of more. I am worthy of truth, effort, and consistency. I will not shrink myself to fit someone else’s absence.”
