A Look at the Psychology and Neuroscience Behind Cruelty
Some people don’t just hurt others—they seem to relish it.
Every insult. Every lie. Every manipulation. Every broken boundary or bruise—they feed off it like oxygen.
And if you’ve been on the receiving end, you know the aftermath: confusion, shame, trauma, broken trust, and the haunting question…
“How can someone be like this—and enjoy it?”
Let’s break it down.
🧠 The Neuroscience: When the Brain Turns Cold
Most people are wired with a system of empathy, which involves specific brain regions:
- The anterior insula and anterior cingulate cortex help us feel what others feel.
- The amygdala triggers guilt, fear, and emotional regulation.
- The prefrontal cortex weighs consequences and moral choices.
But in people with high traits of narcissism, sociopathy, or psychopathy, these systems can become underdeveloped, disconnected, or deliberately overridden.
In simple terms:
They don’t feel what you feel.
They can see your pain but remain unmoved by it.
In some cases—they even get a dopamine hit from causing it.
💥 The Psychology: Power, Control, and the Ego High
These individuals often fall under traits of Cluster B personality disorders, especially:
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
- Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) (includes sociopathy/psychopathy)
- Borderline traits (in some chaotic or aggressive relationships)
But beyond labels, the core psychology is often the same:
⚠️ Harm = Power
⚠️ Secrecy = Control
⚠️ Manipulation = Self-worth
They create chaos to keep others confused and off-balance. They enjoy watching others spin while they stay one step ahead. Each lie, insult, or betrayal becomes a way to feel powerful.
It’s not about love. It’s about winning.
👁️🗨️ Why They Keep Doing It
- Lack of Remorse
They don’t feel guilt like most people. In fact, your pain validates their superiority. - Addicted to Drama
Chaos gives them a sense of purpose. If everything’s calm, they’re irrelevant. Drama keeps them central. - Double Lives & Hidden Agendas
They often keep secrets not because they have to—but because they like it. The secrecy makes them feel powerful and untouchable. - Disordered Empathy
Instead of feeling what you feel, they may learn to mimic emotions to get what they want. This is often called cognitive empathy without emotional empathy.
🧨 Why It Hurts So Many People
When one person lives this way, the fallout ripples far:
- Children grow up confused, walking on eggshells, believing love is pain.
- Partners question their reality, sanity, and self-worth.
- Friends and family are divided, manipulated, or weaponized.
- Workplaces become toxic, because this person enjoys the dysfunction.
They don’t just cause problems—they thrive in the problems they create.
And they often blame everyone else for the damage.
❤️🩹 For the Survivors
If you’ve been impacted by someone like this:
- It’s not your fault.
- They knew what they were doing.
- Their enjoyment of your pain doesn’t define your worth—it defines their sickness.
You don’t need closure from them to heal.
What you need is validation, support, and a safe space to breathe again.
🧘♀️ Closing Reminder
One person can cause unspeakable harm.
But you can be the one who breaks the cycle.
The one who heals, speaks out, walks away, rebuilds.
Let them rot in the high of their lies.
You rise in the truth of your healing.
