Let’s get one thing straight: if you are not married, not in a committed relationship, not living with someone, then yes — you are single. You may be separated, you may still be healing, but legally, emotionally, and practically, unless you are actively partnered, you are available.
And it matters — because too many people are living in a grey zone that blocks them from finding real connection. They cling to the past, to what was or what could have been, while wondering why the “right one” never shows up.
Here’s the truth no one talks about enough:
You won’t meet the right person sitting at home romanticising the wrong one. You won’t create a new love story if you’re still living in the echo of an old chapter.
Getting out and about, engaging in real conversations, being open to new people — that’s where growth happens. That’s where your next love can find you. But first, you need to clean the lens through which you see connection.
Let’s break down a few common misunderstandings:
1. Separated Is Not the Same as Unavailable
Being separated means you are in a transitional stage. It doesn’t mean you’re emotionally married for life. Separation may come with grief, unfinished feelings, or even guilt — but it also opens the door to rediscovery. Don’t let societal guilt or self-judgment tie you to a story that’s no longer serving you.
You are allowed to move on.
You are allowed to explore what feels good.
You are allowed to heal through connection, not just in solitude.
2. Dating Is Not a Relationship
Dating is not a contract. It’s not a promise of permanence. It’s not even necessarily romantic. Dating is about learning. Observing. Communicating. It’s about finding out who someone is — and how you feel in their company.
Dating is:
- Small talk over coffee
- Laughter on a walk
- Sharing stories from your past
- Exploring how you align
- Noticing how you’re treated
- Taking your time
And no — dating doesn’t have to lead to sex. It doesn’t even need to involve deep emotional entanglement. Think of dating like trying on shoes — not because you’re flaky, but because you’re learning what truly fits.
3. A Relationship Means Mutual Commitment
A relationship is more than shared interests or mutual attraction. It’s built on:
- Respect
- Emotional availability
- Honest communication
- Shared values
- A mutual desire to build something
If someone says, “We’re dating,” it doesn’t mean you owe each other monogamy or forever — unless that has been clearly agreed upon.
If someone says, “We’re in a relationship,” it means you both have stepped into intentional partnership.
Don’t confuse dating with devotion.
Final Word: Let Yourself Be Found
So many people say they’re “waiting for the right one,” but in truth, they’re hiding. Hiding behind heartbreak. Behind confusion. Behind outdated beliefs about what it means to be available.
You don’t need to have everything figured out to show up.
You just need to be honest with yourself — and with others — about where you are, and where you want to go.
So get dressed. Go out. Say yes to the coffee. Let yourself be seen.
Because the right one won’t just knock on your door.
They’re out there — but they need a chance to meet the real you.
And that starts by clearing space for something new.
