You know the type. You meet someone—maybe a friend, a colleague, a cousin you can’t quite avoid—and every time you see them, they come dragging their emotional baggage behind them like it’s designer luggage. Except it’s not Louis Vuitton—it’s just Lou’s Victim Complex.
You’re having a perfectly decent day. Sun is shining. You remembered your keys. Maybe you even did a little positive self-talk in the mirror: “You’ve got this. You’re radiant. You’re not the emotional support human for every storm cloud on legs.”
And then… they call.
Cue the sigh that sucks the joy out of the atmosphere.
The Conversation Goes Like This:
Them: “Ugh, my life is such a disaster. Everything’s awful.”
You: “Oh no! What happened?”
Them: “Nothing specific, just… life.”
You: tries to change subject to puppies, ice cream, or the meaning of life
Them: “Even puppies don’t love me. I think I’m allergic to happiness.”
Misery’s Greatest Hits: Now on Repeat!
🎵 Track 1: “Doctor Said I Might Have Something… They’re Not Sure What”
🎵 Track 2: “This Is Why I Don’t Trust People” (again)
🎵 Track 3: “No One Understands Me Except My Facebook Support Group”
🎵 Bonus Track: “Your Good News Makes Me Sad”
It’s like they’ve taken out a mortgage on sadness and now they expect you to help pay the interest.
You Try to Help, But…
You’ve offered advice, resources, a shoulder, a hug, and even a puppy video. But the truth is: some people don’t want a solution. They want a spectator. A sympathy sponge. A 24/7 empathy hotline that doesn’t charge per minute.
And while empathy is beautiful, this is less “I see your pain,” and more “let me pour mine all over you like emotional gravy.”
Why It’s So Draining (With a Dash of Neuroscience)
Because your brain isn’t a sponge. It’s a battery. And prolonged exposure to someone else’s doom-and-gloom outlook actually starts draining your own energy, motivation, and joy. You weren’t built to carry the emotional weight of two (or five) people constantly. You’re not a forklift, darling.
Even mirror neurons—the same little brain gremlins that make you yawn when someone else yawns—start mirroring their mood. Misery really is contagious. And suddenly, you need cheering up.
How to Cope Without Becoming the Villain in Their Soap Opera
- Set loving limits – “I care about you, but I can’t be your therapist every day.”
- Change the channel – “Let’s talk about something positive for five minutes. Humor me.”
- Use humor as armor – “Are we having a crisis again already? It’s only Tuesday!”
- Save your energy for people who lift you, not drain you – because joy is your birthright, not an optional extra.
Final Thought: Misery May Love Misery… But You’re Not Dating It
Let them find someone equally committed to endless overthinking and dramatics. Maybe they can start a book club called “Why Me?” You? You’re choosing joy. You’re sipping your coffee in peace. You’re dancing in the kitchen to ABBA. You’re checking your emotional baggage at the door, not making a shrine to it.
Because you, my friend, are not a therapist, emotional bin, or walking rain cloud collector. You are a vibe. A whole weather system of your own.
☀️Choose sunshine.☀️Even if someone else prefers permanent drizzle.
