Ah, love. That glorious, messy, beautiful rollercoaster that starts with butterflies and eventually evolves into the full-blown psychological thriller of “Why hasn’t he texted me back?”
Let’s paint the scene:
You’re sitting at home, sipping lukewarm tea, and it hits you. He’s been quiet for two hours. Suddenly, your mind is no longer in your cozy living room — oh no. It’s in a full-scale police investigation.
- Stage 1: Mild concern
“He’s probably just busy…” - Stage 2: Slightly elevated heart rate
“Hmm, but he usually messages around now.” - Stage 3: Irrational spiraling
“What if he’s been kidnapped? Maybe he’s lying in a ditch somewhere. Maybe I should call the hospitals… Or Interpol?” - Stage 4: Existential crisis
“Maybe he’s ghosting me. Maybe I said something wrong. Maybe I’m unlovable.”
Congratulations. You’ve just completed another episode of “Anxiously Attached in Love: Starring YOU.”
Why Do We Do This? (Spoiler: You’re Not Crazy)
The brain is wired for connection — especially when we care about someone deeply. Neuroscientifically speaking, when we bond, our brain releases oxytocin, the “love hormone.” It helps us feel safe, connected, attached. It’s beautiful… until it meets uncertainty.
When we don’t hear from someone we love, especially if we have past experiences of abandonment, trauma, or inconsistent relationships, the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) goes, “DANGER!” And now, your calm thoughts are being hijacked by ancient survival patterns.
Your brain is not trying to torture you — it’s trying to protect you. But bless it… sometimes it overreacts.
So, Is It Love? Or Just an Overactive Amygdala?
Let’s be honest — it’s probably both.
You care. You’re attached. That’s love.
But you’re also possibly overthinking, overanalyzing, and catastrophizing. That’s your nervous system being a bit dramatic.
The good news? You can love someone deeply and still regulate your emotions. You can care without creating scenarios involving car crashes, ex-girlfriends, secret second families, or alien abductions. 🙃
Here’s What Might Help While You’re Waiting for That Text:
- Check the facts
Did he actually disappear, or is your phone just on airplane mode? Is he just at the gym or work or asleep and not, in fact, on the run from the FBI? - Soothe your nervous system
Deep breaths. Ground yourself. A walk, a song, a distraction. Your worth is not dependent on one message. - Laugh at the spiral
Sometimes the best medicine is realizing, “Wow, I really just imagined him in a hostage situation over a missed WhatsApp reply.” We’ve all been there. - Communicate your needs
If this happens often, maybe it’s time for a calm conversation: “Hey, I know it sounds silly, but when I don’t hear from you, I get a bit anxious. Could we just check in if we’re going to be offline for a while?” Emotionally mature partners won’t mock you for that — they’ll meet you there.
In Conclusion:
Yes, it might be love.
But it also might be your inner six-year-old looking for safety in an unpredictable world. Both are valid.
So next time you find yourself Googling “signs he’s been kidnapped” after 90 minutes of silence, just pause… smile at the chaos… and maybe go text your best friend instead. Or yourself. Or your therapist. 😂
Love isn’t meant to feel like a crime scene.
It’s meant to feel like home.
