Why Your Desire for Real, Deep Love Is Not “Too Much”
After surviving emotional abuse or neglect, it’s not uncommon to find yourself accepting far less than you deserve. A kind word here, a text back there, a day where they weren’t cruel — and suddenly, you’re clinging to those crumbs as if they’re a five-course meal.
But here’s the truth:
Crumbs are not love.
Affection without consistency is confusion.
And bare-minimum attention is not the same as presence.
🌱 Why We Accept Breadcrumbs in the First Place
Trauma bonding, low self-worth, and nervous system dysregulation all play a role. When you’ve been trained to equate love with emotional starvation, even the smallest gesture can feel like a feast.
You may have heard things like:
- “You expect too much.”
- “You’re too sensitive.”
- “At least I didn’t leave.”
So you shrink. You stop asking. You settle.
But deep down, your body knows: This is not enough.
🧠 The Neuroscience of Crumbs
When we receive inconsistent affection, our brain releases dopamine — the same neurochemical involved in addiction. The unpredictability keeps you hooked, not happy.
This kind of emotional dynamic wires your nervous system to crave approval, stay anxious, and mistake survival mode for love.
But healing changes that. And once you’re on the other side, breadcrumbs start to taste bitter — not sweet.
❤️🩹 You were never asking for too much.
You were asking the wrong person.
🔥 What Real Nourishment Feels Like
Here’s what a full meal looks like in love:
- Consistent effort, not just grand gestures after arguments
- Communication that calms you, not confuses you
- Accountability — not blame-shifting or silent treatment
- A relationship where you can breathe, not brace yourself
You don’t have to beg.
You don’t have to decode.
You don’t have to shrink yourself to be palatable.
💬 A Love Note to the One Who’s Done Settling
Dear you,
You don’t need to earn love through endurance.
You don’t have to prove your worth to someone who won’t meet you halfway.
You deserve someone who shows up — fully, freely, and without making you feel like a burden.
✨ Stop collecting crumbs when you were made for the whole damn bakery.
🦋 Let This Be Your New Standard
“I want more.”
“I want kindness I don’t have to chase.”
“I want peace, not performance.”
These are not demands — they’re boundaries born from healing.
And the right person?
They’ll never make you feel guilty for wanting the full experience of love.
