By Linda C J Turner Therapy
People often say that a photograph can speak a thousand words.
But survivors of abuse know that sometimes, it speaks the truth they couldn’t say out loud.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard this:
Someone looks at an old photo of the abuser and quietly says:
“There’s no love in his eyes… where is the love?”
And just like that, years of self-doubt begin to unravel.
Because deep down, you always knew.
🧠 The Psychology of Empty Eyes
Eyes, often called the windows to the soul, can reveal more than we intend. And in many abusive personalities—especially those with narcissistic or antisocial traits—there is something missing behind the gaze.
It’s not imagination. It’s not bitterness. It’s the emotional vacancy that so many survivors felt but couldn’t name.
These individuals may mimic affection, charm, and even warmth. But it’s often superficial—mechanical. They’ve learned how to perform love, but not truly feel it in a reciprocal, empathetic way. That vacant stare? That’s the absence of emotional attunement. The absence of you being seen as a full, feeling human being.
🧩 “He Said He Loved Me. Was It Real?”
Love from a dark personality type can feel real—intoxicating, even—but it’s often transactional or controlling. It’s not grounded in empathy or mutual growth. It’s about possession, dominance, validation.
The phrase “I love you” in this context may mean:
- “I love the way you make me feel important.”
- “I love that you need me.”
- “I love having power over you.”
That’s why, when others now look at that old photo and ask, “Where’s the love?”, it can hit you like a wave. Because you wanted there to be love. You believed in the love. But in truth, it was often a form of emotional entrapment, not emotional safety.
🔍 The Intuition You Were Told to Ignore
Maybe back then, you looked at those same photos and something inside you felt cold. But you dismissed it. Maybe you were told you were “too sensitive,” or “paranoid,” or “looking for problems.” Maybe you were even accused of imagining abuse.
But here’s the truth: your nervous system knew.
Your body knew.
Your subconscious knew.
That lack of light in the eyes wasn’t a glitch. It was the part of you still trying to protect yourself. And now, finally, you’re starting to listen to that part.
💡 What People See Now
When people now look at those old images and say, “He looks cold. There’s no love in his eyes”—they are seeing what was always there. The truth is rising from the silence.
And sometimes, that kind of validation can be a step in healing. Not because it proves your pain—but because it reflects your truth.
❤️ To Every Survivor Reading This:
If you’ve ever stared at old photos and tried to convince yourself it was love…
If you’ve ever zoomed in on their face, hoping to catch a flicker of warmth…
If you’ve felt shame for not seeing it sooner…
Please know this:
You weren’t blind. You were surviving.
You needed to believe in the love at the time.
You needed to hold on to hope.
You did what you had to do to get through.
Now, you’re not just looking at photos—you’re looking at patterns.
You’re not just seeing their eyes—you’re seeing yourself, clearly, for the first time in a long time.
And that… is where the real love begins.
Within you. For you. Because you are worth more than cold eyes and conditional affection.
🔗 @LindaCJTurnerTherapy | Helping women reclaim their power after abuse, one truth at a time.
#TraumaHealing #DarkSideOfPersonality #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #EmotionalIntelligence #PostTraumaticGrowth #DomesticAbuseAwareness #ReclaimYourVoice #SurvivorStrength
Reciprocity!
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