There is a chilling difference between someone who lashes out in a moment of rage and someone who plans, fantasizes, and finds satisfaction in hurting others. When someone begins to derive excitement or pleasure from the idea of violence, abuse, or even murder—especially in response to minor offences—it’s not just a red flag. It’s a siren.
This isn’t about justice.
It’s not even about anger.
This is about power, control, and pathology.
🚩 Who Are We Talking About?
This profile may include individuals who:
- Regularly fantasize about killing or seriously harming others.
- Speak openly about revenge or hiring a hitman, even jokingly.
- Derive excitement or sexual gratification from control, domination, or abuse.
- Appear to have no remorse after harming someone emotionally or physically.
- Believe others “deserve” pain for minor “wrongs.”
These are often not people in a temporary emotional crisis. These behaviors can reflect deep-seated personality disorders or pathological traits, including sadism, psychopathy, or antisocial personality disorder.
🧬 What’s Going on in the Mind of Someone Like This?
1. Psychological Sadism
Sadistic personalities experience gratification from the suffering of others. This doesn’t always mean overt violence. It can include humiliation, manipulation, or emotional cruelty. For them:
- Another’s pain = Their power.
- Another’s fear = Their control.
- Another’s suffering = Their satisfaction.
They don’t see people as humans. They see them as tools, toys, or threats.
2. Psychopathy & Emotional Detachment
Some individuals with psychopathic traits have:
- Shallow or absent empathy
- No guilt after doing harm
- A sense of grandiosity and entitlement
- A belief that rules don’t apply to them
When paired with a high IQ or charming facade, this can make them extremely dangerous, because they hide behind manipulation.
3. Narcissistic Wounding and Rage
Not all who fantasize about revenge are sadistic—but when a narcissist is wounded (publicly shamed, rejected, or challenged), they may become obsessed with retaliation. Their rage can become disproportionate and fixated, escalating into:
- Rumination on punishment
- Paranoid justifications for violence
- Glorified fantasies of being the one “in control again”
They often justify cruelty because they believe they’ve been “betrayed.”
🧠 The Neuroscience of Cruelty
Brain scans of sadistic and psychopathic individuals show:
- Reduced activity in the amygdala (responsible for emotional response and empathy).
- Hyperactivity in reward centers when viewing violent or aggressive images.
- Poor regulation in the prefrontal cortex, meaning less impulse control and moral inhibition.
For them, the emotional “stop signs” just don’t light up the same way.
💬 “But They Haven’t Done Anything… Yet”
Just because someone hasn’t acted out violently yet, doesn’t mean they’re safe. Fantasies—especially vivid, repetitive, pleasurable ones—can serve as:
- Mental rehearsal
- Moral desensitization
- Preparation for justification
When these thoughts are paired with isolation, obsession, and entitlement, the risk of escalation is real.
❗What to Watch Out For
- They talk often about revenge or death, even in inappropriate contexts.
- They seem excited or amused by violence, especially when it’s personal.
- They minimize or mock the suffering of others.
- They have a history of cruelty (even toward animals or former partners).
- They blame everyone but themselves and often say things like:“They made me do it.”
“They deserved it.”
“I could kill them for that.”
If someone like this makes you feel unsafe, confused, or constantly on edge—trust that feeling. It is your nervous system warning you before your mind can explain it.
🔐 For Survivors: Protecting Yourself from Predators in Disguise
If you’re recovering from a relationship with someone who fits this description, know this:
- You didn’t imagine the danger.
- You weren’t too sensitive.
- You were targeted, not loved.
Their behavior is not about “miscommunication” or “stress.” It’s about a deep psychological need to dominate, punish, and control.
Get support. Document everything. Never confront someone like this alone.
And most importantly—don’t ignore the fantasies they tell you about.
They are revealing more than you think.
🧡 Final Words
People who are obsessed with hurting others—who laugh at violence, get excited by abuse, and fantasize about murder—are not being “edgy,” “dramatic,” or “just angry.”
They are dangerous.
When harm becomes pleasure, when violence becomes a thrill, and when people become pawns in someone else’s narrative—the risk is no longer theoretical.
Your peace is not worth their pathology.
Your safety is not negotiable.
And your life is too sacred to be toyed with.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
