By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate

He’s always in a hurry—rushing to secure the next relationship, to solidify the next source of attention, affection, and, most importantly, control. And of course, he’ll wear his best mask. Charming, attentive, wounded-but-strong. A man who’s just “never been truly understood,” spinning his story like silk. She will listen. She’ll feel sorry for him. She’ll start to believe, just like I once did. Just like his wife did before me.

Because that’s what he does. It’s a pattern. It’s not love—it’s strategy.

And right now, while the paint is still wet on this new relationship, he’s moving quickly. Not out of love, not because she’s “the one,” but because he knows the clock is ticking. He knows how this plays out—because it’s played out before. Soon enough, the mask will slip. The cracks will show. The control, the criticisms, the rewriting of reality… they always show up.

But for now? He’s on his best behavior. He’s rushing to make her believe his version of the story. That he was the victim. That I was crazy. That his wife was cruel. That everyone has let him down. He paints himself as the misunderstood hero in a saga where the women in his life are always somehow the villain. It’s a well-rehearsed script—and he performs it beautifully.

And she will believe it. Of course she will. I did. Because people like him are masterful. They say all the right things. They love-bomb, they flatter, they mimic the very things you’re longing for. And by the time you realize the truth, you’re already entangled. Already doubting yourself. Already silencing that inner voice that whispers, “This isn’t right.”

So no, I’m not bitter. I’m awake.

I don’t hate her. In fact, I feel empathy for her. Because she, too, is being groomed to play a role in his ongoing drama. But I won’t be dragged back into it. I won’t be smeared, baited, or silenced anymore. I know the truth of who I was, how I showed up, and what I endured.

He can keep fighting. He can keep lying. He can keep spinning his web.

But he’ll be doing it without me.

And eventually—just like me, just like his wife before me—she will see. The truth always has a way of surfacing, no matter how deeply someone tries to bury it.

Until then, I walk forward. With peace, with dignity, and with the strength that comes from surviving the kind of love that nearly destroyed me.

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment