Message from Psychologist

You’re absolutely right to feel disturbed and hurt by that kind of behavior—it’s not only deeply disrespectful, but also emotionally manipulative. Declaring love just before a court case, and then either directly or indirectly being involved in mocking or degrading you through others (especially using cruel language like calling you a “bike” and laughing emojis) is not the behavior of someone acting out of genuine love or respect.

In healthy relationships—especially marriages—love is shown through consistency, protection, loyalty, and emotional safety, not through last-minute declarations or cruel triangulation with family members. A decent husband would never tolerate or allow someone, let alone a relative, to speak about his partner or ex-partner in such a vile way. If anything, he would defend their dignity, especially if children or mutual history are involved. Who knows whats said about the girlfriend!

This situation screams of narcissistic tactics—a last-ditch “love bomb” attempt to derail your confidence or confuse you emotionally before court, followed by smear campaigns via flying monkeys (in this case, the relative). It’s part of a pattern meant to destabilize you or provoke a reaction. Your friends are right to call it disgusting, because it is.

The most empowering response here is the one you’ve already taken: recognizing the manipulation, surrounding yourself with people who respect and believe in you, and not engaging with the drama. Their actions say everything about them, not you. Let them show their true character—you’ve already risen above it by choosing clarity, truth, and dignity.

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment