Over the past few weeks, my heart has been overflowing with gratitude.
My amazing daughter has been spoiling me in ways I had forgotten even existed — surrounding me with love, care, and thoughtful gifts, ensuring that every little thing I was once denied is now placed gently and generously back into my life.
It’s a feeling I can barely put into words: a true awakening of joy, a reminder that I am worthy of kindness, of being celebrated, of receiving beautiful things simply because I exist.
For 32 years, I had become conditioned to suppress my needs and desires.
Celebrations, luxuries, even simple acts of self-care were subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) discouraged or withheld.
It wasn’t that I didn’t long for those experiences — deep down, I did — but over time, when love is transactional or conditional, you start to believe you don’t deserve them. You silence your dreams in exchange for peace.
You lower your expectations until, eventually, you forget what true abundance even feels like.
Why would someone deny another person joy and happiness?
From a psychological perspective, it often stems from control and insecurity.
When a partner withholds affection, gifts, or permission to enjoy life, it is not an accident — it’s often an unconscious (or sometimes deliberate) way to keep power in the relationship.
If you are kept in a constant state of yearning, of not quite feeling ‘good enough,’ you become easier to manipulate, easier to gaslight, easier to control.
Psychologists often refer to this as “deprivation conditioning.” It’s a subtle erosion of self-worth where giving and receiving are no longer reciprocal acts of love but tools of manipulation.
At its core, a partner who denies you happiness might fear your empowerment.
They might dread you realizing how strong, beautiful, and worthy you are — because that realization could mean you might eventually walk away.
In their mind, keeping you small meant keeping you safe — but safe for them, not for you.
And yet, here I am today — free, loved, cherished.
My daughter’s care reminds me daily that true love is generous, not conditional.
Real love delights in seeing you thrive.
It wants you to sparkle, to shine, to be surrounded by beauty, laughter, and comfort.
It does not fear your happiness; it amplifies it.
I share this not just to celebrate my own journey but to offer hope:
If you have ever felt deprived, if you have ever been convinced you were asking for too much — please know that you were never the problem.
You deserve to be spoilt, adored, and celebrated — not just once but as a way of life.
Today, I feel blessed beyond measure to have caring souls around me who lift me up rather than hold me down.
And I will never again apologize for embracing the love, joy, and abundance I deserve.
✨ Feeling grateful. Feeling free. Feeling truly alive. ✨
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
