By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
In cognitive neuroscience and mindfulness-based psychology, the space between our thoughts is often referred to as the “gap” — a momentary pause before the mind jumps to its next narrative, judgment, worry, or decision. These moments may be fleeting, but they’re incredibly significant.
1. The Default Mode Network vs. Present Awareness
Our brain has what’s known as the Default Mode Network (DMN) — a system that’s active when our minds are at rest but not focused externally. It’s where self-referential thoughts arise: who we are, our memories, plans, worries.
But when we quiet the DMN — through meditation, mindfulness, or even deep flow states — we enter a space where thoughts no longer dominate, and we become present. In this stillness, intuition and insight arise. This is where answers — the authentic ones — often live.
Psychologically, this “gap” is not empty. It is pregnant with wisdom.
✨ Your Options Lie in the Pause
We often feel “stuck” or “trapped” when faced with difficult choices. This happens because we try to think our way out of a problem with the same mindset that created it.
But in that still space between thoughts — that moment of not knowing — the nervous system relaxes, and new options emerge. These are not forced or fabricated. They surface.
- From a trauma-informed lens, people in survival mode often don’t get to pause. They’re hyper-vigilant, reactive, and fast-moving in thought to stay safe. So, teaching someone to sit in the quiet between thoughts is revolutionary healing.
🧘♀️ Insight and Neuroplasticity
When we sit in silence, the brain isn’t idle — it’s reorganizing. The practice of mindfulness and contemplation has been shown to:
- Reduce activity in the DMN
- Increase gray matter in the prefrontal cortex (decision-making)
- Strengthen the insula (awareness of the body and emotions)
- Rewire traumatic pathways by integrating implicit memories into conscious narrative
So yes — your answers live in the quiet not because they’re hiding, but because the noise of thought often drowns out your deeper knowing.
💡 The Wisdom of the Subconscious
Carl Jung spoke of the collective unconscious and the inner self — the part of us that holds our truest wisdom. In therapy, clients often discover insights not during intense problem-solving, but when there’s a moment of silence, reflection, or surrender.
That’s when they say:
“I don’t know why, but this just feels right.” Or “Now that I said it out loud and sat with it… I think I’ve known all along.”
The answers were always there — they simply needed space to breathe.
❤️ From a Trauma Therapy Perspective
For survivors of trauma, silence can sometimes feel unsafe. The mind wants to fill it, control it, run from it. But with time and support, silence becomes sanctuary — a place where one can reclaim the self, without the noise of abusers, past narratives, or internalized shame.
In those quiet moments, we begin to hear:
- Our true voice
- Our unmet needs
- The path forward that we couldn’t see when we were drowning in noise
🌱 Final Thoughts
So, what lives in the space between your thoughts?
- Possibility.
- Clarity.
- Your inner compass.
- And maybe even a little peace.
From a psychological standpoint, it’s not just poetic — it’s profoundly true:
Your wisest choices and truest answers dwell in the stillness, not the struggle.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
