By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
In my therapy work, and in everyday life, I often come across the concept of projection. It’s one of the most common—yet often misunderstood—psychological mechanisms we experience, and it can have a significant impact on our relationships, our healing, and our self-understanding.
So let’s take a moment to explore what projection really is, and why understanding it can be such a powerful step on our journey toward emotional intelligence and personal growth.
What Is Projection in Psychology?
Projection is a psychological defense mechanism. Simply put, it’s when we unconsciously attribute our own unwanted feelings, thoughts, or traits to someone else. It’s the mind’s way of protecting us from having to face something uncomfortable within ourselves.
For example, a person who struggles to acknowledge their own anger might accuse others of being aggressive. Or someone who has trust issues may begin to believe that others are untrustworthy—even without evidence.
It’s as though we hold up a mirror to our inner world, but rather than looking inwards, we reflect it outward onto others.
Why Do We Project?
Projection often happens without us even realizing it. It’s unconscious—automatic. When we don’t feel safe enough to confront certain emotions (shame, guilt, fear, insecurity), we try to distance ourselves from them. And the easiest way to do that is to see them in someone else.
It’s a protective function of the psyche—but one that, if left unchecked, can damage our relationships and keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns.
What Does Projection Look Like in Real Life?
We all project from time to time—especially when we’re feeling vulnerable, emotionally overwhelmed, or triggered.
Here are a few everyday examples:
- A parent who feels they’ve failed might constantly criticize their child for being “lazy” or “unmotivated.”
- A partner who is emotionally distant may accuse their spouse of not being present or connected.
- Someone who feels envious might label a friend as “jealous” instead.
In therapy, projection can be a powerful clue. It can help us understand what someone might be struggling to process internally—and it can also offer insight into our own blind spots.
When You’re Being Projected Onto
Being on the receiving end of projection can feel deeply frustrating, hurtful, and confusing—especially in close relationships.
If you’ve ever been blamed for something you didn’t do, accused of feelings you’re not having, or made to feel like you’re the problem, it’s possible that projection is at play.
Here’s what I always encourage:
- Trust your intuition. Just because someone projects something onto you doesn’t make it true.
- Hold your ground. You don’t have to internalize someone else’s inner conflict.
- Set boundaries. Especially if the projection is persistent or tied to manipulative behavior.
What Healing Looks Like
The beauty of recognizing projection is that it invites us to turn inward, gently and honestly. It asks us to take a moment and say:
“Could this be about me?”
“What am I not ready to face?”
“Where is this coming from, really?”
And that’s not about blaming ourselves—it’s about freeing ourselves. Projection is not a flaw; it’s a signal. It tells us that something inside us needs care, attention, and healing.
In my own healing journey, and in the work I do with others, I’ve seen how transformational it is when we learn to take responsibility for our emotional world, instead of displacing it onto others. It takes courage—but it also brings deep freedom.
In Closing
Projection isn’t always easy to spot—but with awareness, support, and a willingness to look within, it becomes a profound tool for growth. Whether you’re noticing it in others, or gently recognizing it in yourself, remember: it’s not about judgment. It’s about curiosity. It’s about compassion. It’s about reclaiming your emotional truth.
And from that place, healing begins.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
