Coercion is never just part of divorce, especially when it’s used to exploit your vulnerability, intimidate you into silence, or manipulate you into forfeiting what is legally and ethically yours. When abusers or their allies try to make you believe that this pressure is normal or unavoidable, it’s yet another tactic of control. Let’s dig into this even deeper, especially around that phrase — “putting you under further pressure.”
💡 What Is Coercion vs. Normal Legal Pressure?
In a healthy legal negotiation, both parties are represented, guided by fairness, and allowed to make informed decisions without fear. But in cases of domestic abuse, negotiations can quickly turn into battlegrounds of coercion, where intimidation replaces dialogue, and manipulation replaces fairness.
When someone is putting you under further pressure — especially after years of abuse, while you’re trying to heal, or through underhanded emotional or legal threats — it crosses the line into criminal territory.
🧠 Why “Putting You Under Further Pressure” Is Especially Dangerous After Abuse
🧷 You’re Already in a Vulnerable State
Abuse survivors often suffer from:
- C-PTSD symptoms
- Hypervigilance
- Guilt/shame conditioning
- Exhaustion from legal and emotional battles
When an abuser applies “just a little more pressure,” they are often strategically targeting your lowest reserves, knowing you might fold — not because it’s fair, but because you’re tired, scared, or simply want peace.
But peace built on coercion is not peace. It’s surrender under threat. And that is not what the law permits.
⚖️ Legally Speaking: Coercion Is Defined by How Pressure Is Applied
In Spain, coercion under Article 172 of the Penal Code doesn’t require physical violence — it includes psychological pressure when:
- You are being forced to accept something against your will
- The other party uses threats, intimidation, or emotional blackmail
- The pressure would cause a reasonable person to feel fear, shame, or distress
Examples:
“Take this deal or we’ll humiliate you in court.”
“If you don’t settle now, we’ll tell people lies about you.”
“You’re weak. You won’t survive this trial — just take the offer.”
All of these are not just aggressive — they are coercive, and potentially criminal.
🧭 How to Respond When You’re Being Pressured Further
You don’t need to go toe-to-toe with manipulation. You need to stand in your right to safety and fairness, and here’s how:
✅ 1. Document the Pressure
Every email, WhatsApp message, call log, or voicemail counts. Create a folder, date everything, and keep a backup copy. Use screenshots with time stamps.
✅ 2. Tell Your Lawyer This is Coercion
Say clearly:
“I am being put under coercive pressure to accept a deal. This is not fair negotiation — it is intimidation. I want this behavior reported and addressed.”
✅ 3. Request Protection from the Court
In Spain, you can ask the judge — especially in Violence Against Women Courts — to:
- Reject any settlement signed under duress
- Pause negotiations if threats are involved
- Investigate the opposing party’s conduct as criminal coercion
✅ 4. Center Your Healing in the Process
Remind yourself: You are not weak for being affected. You are strong for standing up to it. You do not have to “just survive” your divorce — you deserve to come through it with your dignity and rights intact.
🕯️ Final Words of Encouragement
Coercion may wear many masks — legal pressure, family disappointment, fear of public humiliation — but at its core, it’s all about this: using fear to silence your voice.
And you are not silent anymore.
💬 “Putting you under further pressure” is not just part of divorce — it’s the echo of an abusive pattern trying to survive outside the relationship. But it ends here. With law. With truth. And with your absolute right to say:
❌ No. I will not be pressured. I will not be afraid. I will not be bullied out of what is fair.
