When someone attempts to strangle you and then says, “I could have killed you, but I didn’t,” it is a chilling and deliberate act of psychological and physical abuse. This statement is not just a reflection of what happened—it is a form of intimidation, power, and control. Courts, psychologists, and domestic violence experts recognize this as a serious red flag, signaling a high risk of escalating violence, even potential homicide.

What This Statement Really Means

1. An Open Threat – The abuser is explicitly stating their power over your life and safety. They are not showing restraint; they are showing dominance.
2. Psychological Terrorism – This phrase is meant to make you live in fear, wondering if next time, they will follow through.
3. A Lack of Remorse – Instead of apologizing or taking responsibility, the abuser justifies their actions and reminds you of their capability to do worse.
4. A Warning Sign of Escalation – Strangulation is one of the most dangerous forms of domestic violence, and this statement suggests they may not stop next time.

How Courts View This Behavior

• Strangulation is considered attempted murder or felony assault in many legal systems, even if no lasting physical injuries are visible.
• The statement itself is a form of coercive control and may be used as evidence of premeditated intent or a pattern of abuse.
• If reported to the authorities, this can result in protective orders, criminal charges, and even loss of parental rights in custody cases.

What You Should Do

If you are in a situation where someone has strangled you and made this threat, take it seriously.

• Seek Medical Attention – Even if you feel fine, strangulation can cause delayed brain damage, strokes, or internal injuries.
• Document Everything – Take photos of any injuries, write down the details of what happened, and save any threatening messages.
• Report It – Contact law enforcement or a domestic violence organization. Strangulation is one of the strongest predictors of future lethal violence.
• Get Support – Reach out to a therapist, advocate, or trusted loved ones who can help you navigate the next steps safely.

Final Thoughts

This statement is not just words—it is a dangerous warning. Survivors of strangulation have reported that their abuser escalated their violence afterward, sometimes fatally. If you are in this situation, please prioritize your safety. You are not alone, and there are people who can and will help you. 💙