Because it was never about love—it was about control. And the moment they could no longer control you, they had no use for you.
People who abuse others don’t actually want a relationship—they want power. As long as you were giving, complying, forgiving, and making excuses for their behavior, you were useful to them. But the second you started seeing the truth, setting boundaries, or refusing to be manipulated, they had two choices:
- Take accountability, apologize, and make things right (which abusers rarely do).
- Erase you, discard you, and rewrite the narrative to make themselves look like the victim.
They choose the latter because it’s easier. If they acknowledged the harm they caused, they would have to face themselves—and most of them don’t have the emotional maturity or self-awareness to do that. Instead, they cut you off, block you, and act like you never existed.
It’s a classic abusive tactic called “discarding.” Instead of dealing with the truth, they dehumanize you, pretending like you were never important, never loved, never real. It’s their way of dodging accountability and avoiding facing what they’ve done. And sadly, if there are flying monkeys (family members or friends who enable them), they will follow suit—because it’s easier for them to side with the abuser than to ask uncomfortable questions.
The silence, the blocking, the cutting off—it’s not a reflection of you or your worth. It’s a reflection of their deep emotional immaturity and inability to have real, meaningful connections. Real love doesn’t just vanish overnight. Real love doesn’t treat someone like a disease just because they no longer comply.
You are better off without people who are only capable of conditional love. It hurts like hell, but it’s also proof that you are free from their toxicity. Their absence isn’t a loss—it’s a gift. Because now, you get to build a life filled with people who actually see you, value you, and choose you—not for what you give, but for who you are. 💛
