Love that is turned on and off depending on convenience or circumstance is often referred to as conditional love or transactional love. This type of love is typically based on certain terms, expectations, or benefits rather than a deep, enduring, and selfless connection. It might feel like love when things are going well, but when challenges arise, it can quickly disappear, leaving the other person feeling unsupported or devalued.

Unlike unconditional love, which is consistent and accepts a person as they are, conditional love often comes with strings attached. It may be tied to behaviors, achievements, or the convenience of the situation. Unfortunately, relationships built on this type of love can feel unstable or superficial over time.

This can also manifest in manipulative or narcissistic dynamics, where love or affection is used as a tool for control or to serve personal needs. If you’ve encountered this in your life, it’s important to remember that authentic love should feel secure, consistent, and nurturing—not something to be earned or switched on and off.