The behavior of an emotionally manipulative and exploitative individual—a person who operates with little to no regard for others, prioritizing their own gain above all else. This type of person could be considered a con artist, but their actions go beyond financial manipulation; they are undermining trust, exploiting vulnerability, and causing deep emotional harm. Let’s unpack what might drive such behavior and how to cope with the devastation it causes.
Traits of This Type of Person:
- Narcissism or Self-Serving Tendencies:
- They see others as resources to be used for their own benefit, rather than as individuals with feelings or needs.
- They lack genuine empathy, viewing relationships as transactional rather than reciprocal.
- Pathological Lying:
- Lies aren’t just a means to an end; they are a tool to maintain control. By obscuring financial details or manipulating facts, they keep you dependent and in the dark.
- Entitlement:
- They believe they deserve your money, effort, and sacrifices without offering anything of value in return.
- Emotional Exploitation:
- They capitalize on your love, loyalty, and history of struggle, knowing you’re likely to prioritize the relationship even when their behavior is exploitative.
- Mercenary Behavior:
- They target vulnerabilities—like your estrangement from your children or past hardships—because they know these create a sense of emotional indebtedness or insecurity in you.
The Emotional Toll on You:
- Deep Betrayal:
- It’s devastating to realize that someone you trusted implicitly, someone who perhaps positioned themselves as a partner or close confidant, was preying on you.
- Self-Doubt:
- Their manipulations may leave you questioning your own judgment: “How did I not see this sooner?”Remember, skilled manipulators are experts at hiding their true intentions.
- Financial Devastation:
- Money is not just material; it represents security and freedom. Having it stolen or misused compounds the emotional trauma.
- Exploitation of Vulnerability:
- Using your estrangement from your children or emotional struggles to keep you isolated shows how calculated their actions are.
What Kind of Person Does This?
This behavior aligns with certain psychological profiles, though not everyone who acts this way has a diagnosable condition. Possible explanations include:
- Sociopathy or Antisocial Personality Disorder:
- A disregard for the rights and wellbeing of others, coupled with manipulative behavior and a lack of remorse.
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
- A sense of entitlement and exploitation of others to fulfill personal needs.
- Opportunistic Manipulators:
- Not necessarily mentally ill, but deeply selfish and willing to exploit anyone if it benefits them.
- Trauma or Learned Behavior:
- Some people develop exploitative habits as a defense mechanism from their own past hardships. While this doesn’t excuse their behavior, it may explain it.
What Can You Do?
- Reclaim Control:
- Start by taking immediate steps to protect your finances. This could include consulting a financial advisor, changing account passwords, or ensuring they have no access to your money or assets.
- Seek Legal Advice:
- If they’ve stolen or misused your funds, legal action might be necessary. Gather documentation of financial transactions, property sales, and other pertinent records.
- Emotional Support:
- Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. The betrayal you’ve endured is heavy, and you don’t have to face it alone.
- Reflect and Rebuild:
- It’s crucial to rebuild your self-esteem and trust in your own judgment. You may feel used and deceived, but this says more about them than about you.
- Consider Ending the Relationship:
- This may be the hardest step, especially if you’ve been invested in this person emotionally or for a long time. But their continued presence in your life is toxic and draining.
Closing Thoughts
It’s horrifying to face the truth about someone you once trusted, especially when their actions cut so deeply across emotional and financial lines. But it’s also an opportunity to take back your power, rebuild your boundaries, and ensure your future is free from their manipulation. You are not weak for being targeted; you are strong for seeing the truth and seeking a way forward.
