This sounds like the behavior of someone who wants to manipulate or control the narrative around a situation—often typical of individuals who show abusive or narcissistic tendencies. Changing security settings on IT equipment the day after an attack could be a way of exerting control or ensuring that the victim can’t easily access or gather information, like evidence of the abuse or resources that could help them. It also prevents the person from reaching out for support, both physically and digitally, isolating them further. This kind of control often aligns with manipulative tactics, as they can feel that this gives them power over the situation and allows them to dictate how others see it.
When it comes to contacting family members, the aim often isn’t genuine concern or reconciliation but rather a calculated attempt to regain control of the narrative. By presenting their own version of events, the individual may be trying to cast themselves in a favorable light or divert attention from the abusive behavior by sowing confusion or sympathy. Inventing stories, even with incorrect facts, is usually about projecting confidence, banking on the hope that family members will believe their version of events. This is particularly effective if the person has a history of being persuasive or manipulative, and family members may be more likely to believe their narrative if they either don’t fully understand the situation or if they, unfortunately, side with the abuser.
If family members are unwilling to intervene or acknowledge the abusive behavior, it might be because of their own complicated relationship with the person, possibly due to intimidation or a longstanding history of denial or avoidance. Sometimes family dynamics can protect an abuser, especially if the family has a pattern of ignoring or minimizing harmful behavior. In these cases, the individual might feel confident in their ability to manipulate not only the victim but also those around them.
At the root, this behavior is often characteristic of individuals with a desire for control, a tendency to manipulate, and little regard for the boundaries, safety, or well-being of others.
