The behavior of a highly manipulative individual, potentially someone with traits commonly associated with narcissistic or even sociopathic tendencies. People who engage in this kind of behavior are often skilled at deception and control. They create a façade of affection and love, all while hiding their true intentions, which might include exerting power over you, gaining leverage, or protecting themselves from any accountability for their actions.

This behavior is sometimes seen in individuals with personality disorders such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD). Here’s a breakdown of what might be going on with someone like this:

1. Gaslighting

• Definition: Gaslighting is a tactic where a person manipulates you into doubting your own reality or sanity.
• Example: They might lie to you repeatedly, then make you question whether your memory of events is accurate, convincing you that you’re overly sensitive or paranoid.

2. Manipulative Control

• They control and manipulate you by withholding information, keeping you in a state of confusion, or making you feel dependent on them. This kind of control can also involve monitoring your actions and conversations, sometimes even secretly recording or storing information to use against you later.
• Why they do it: They may do this to ensure they always have the upper hand, making it difficult for you to break free or call them out on their behavior.

3. Deceptive Charm

• These individuals can be very charming and persuasive when they want to be. They might use their charm to convince you (and others) of their sincerity and good intentions. All the while, they may be building a false narrative or a case against you, painting themselves as the victim or the hero in the relationship.

4. Dual Personality

• Public vs. Private Behavior: In private, they might be abusive, cruel, or dismissive, but in public, they present themselves as loving, supportive, and dedicated partners. This duality is designed to confuse you and make it harder for you to seek help or validation from others.
• They may even convince others that they are the “victim” in the situation, turning the tables on you and portraying themselves as suffering from your supposed mistreatment.

5. Lack of Empathy

• A person who behaves this way often lacks genuine empathy. They don’t connect with your feelings or emotional pain. Their actions are self-serving, focused on what they can gain, whether that’s emotional power, control, or protecting their own image.

6. Physical and Emotional Abuse

• Physical abuse combined with emotional manipulation is a toxic cycle that can trap you in fear, guilt, and confusion. When someone physically abuses you while professing love, they’re using your emotions against you, often making it difficult for you to leave or recognize the abuse for what it is.

7. False Confessions of Love

• The expressions of love and devotion might be a manipulative tactic to keep you emotionally invested and tied to them. By doing this, they create a confusing mix of affection and abuse that keeps you constantly guessing whether they care or not.
• Their professions of love are often insincere, used only to keep you hooked or to make themselves appear as though they are the loving, dedicated partner in the eyes of others.

Potential Personality Types

1. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD):
   • Narcissists often crave admiration, control, and power. They can be highly manipulative, deceitful, and lack true empathy. They tend to see people as extensions of themselves, tools to be used for their own gain.
   • They might build a case against you not because they want to win or lose, but because they can’t stand the thought of looking bad or being the one who is wrong.
2. Antisocial Personality Disorder (Sociopathy/Psychopathy):
   • People with these traits can be incredibly calculating, cruel, and controlling. They tend to lack guilt or remorse and might actually enjoy the process of manipulating, controlling, or hurting others.
   • They can be charming and engaging when it suits their needs, all while pursuing a hidden agenda to undermine or control you.
3. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):
   • While not always manipulative in the same way, some individuals with BPD may engage in controlling behaviors out of fear of abandonment. Their actions might include intense emotional manipulation and unpredictable mood swings. They can express intense love one moment and extreme anger the next, creating a rollercoaster dynamic that’s difficult to understand.

What to Do if You’re Dealing with Someone Like This

1. Set Boundaries: If it’s safe to do so, establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from their manipulative tactics. Be firm and consistent in your responses.
2. Document Everything: If they’re building a case against you, make sure you document interactions and incidents. This can protect you if they try to twist the truth or manipulate the narrative.
3. Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a professional who understands these dynamics. Sometimes just having an outside perspective can help clarify what’s really going on.
4. Plan an Exit: If possible, create a safety plan to distance yourself from this person. Leaving someone with these tendencies can be tricky, especially if they don’t want to let go of their control over you.

Trust Your Gut

• If you have the sense that something is off or that you’re being manipulated, trust that feeling. Manipulative individuals are skilled at making you doubt yourself, but your intuition is a powerful tool that shouldn’t be ignored.

It’s important to remember that this kind of behavior is never your fault. People who lie, cheat, control, and manipulate often do so because of their own unresolved issues and their need to exert power over others. Reaching out for help from a professional, like a therapist who specializes in trauma and emotional abuse, can be a crucial step in understanding your situation and finding a path to healing.