Several important ingredients contribute to someone’s “addiction” to their abuser, including oxytocin (bonding) and endogenous opioids. It’s important to understand that the term “addiction” in the context of abusive relationships can be complex and different from the traditional understanding of substance addiction. Psychological factors, trauma bonding, and the dynamics of power and control play significant roles in these situations.

1. Oxytocin and bonding: Oxytocin, as mentioned earlier, is a hormone and neuropeptide associated with social bonding and trust. It is released during positive social interactions, such as hugging, cuddling, and intimacy. In the context of an abusive relationship, the release of oxytocin during periods of calm or reconciliation can contribute to feelings of attachment and bonding with the abuser. This can create a conflict within the victim, as they may experience positive feelings despite the abusive behavior.
2. Endogenous opioids: Endogenous opioids are naturally occurring substances in the body that can have pain-relieving and pleasurable effects. These substances, such as endorphins, can be released in response to various experiences, including physical touch, emotional connection, and even stressful situations. In the context of an abusive relationship, the intermittent reinforcement of positive experiences, which can trigger the release of endogenous opioids, can create a cycle of reward and reinforcement that contributes to the victim’s attachment to the abuser.
3. Trauma bonding: Trauma bonding refers to a psychological phenomenon where the victim forms a strong emotional bond with the abuser as a result of the trauma experienced. This bond can be reinforced by the intermittent reinforcement of positive experiences, fear, and a sense of survival. Trauma bonding can contribute to feelings of loyalty, dependence, and a distorted sense of love towards the abuser, making it challenging for the victim to leave the abusive relationship.

It is essential to recognize that these physiological and psychological factors are just some components of the complex dynamics involved in abusive relationships. Other factors, such as power imbalances, fear, manipulation, and social isolation, can also contribute to the “addiction” or dependence on the abuser. Breaking free from an abusive relationship often requires a comprehensive approach, including safety planning, professional support, therapy, and resources tailored to the specific needs of the individual experiencing abuse.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, it is crucial to seek help from local helplines, support organizations, or professional counselors who can provide guidance and assistance in navigating this challenging situation.

© Linda C J Turner