Abusers don’t just lie to you — they often lie about you, especially to your friends, family, colleagues, or community. This is a deliberate form of character assassination, and it’s often part of a larger strategy called “DARVO”: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. The goal?To discredit you before you tell the truth, so that when you do speak out, people doubt… Read More DARVO
Abuse doesn’t just happen in the shadows.It’s carefully concealed with lies.And many abusers are pathological liars — compulsively distorting reality to protect themselves and isolate their victims. Lying isn’t just what they do.It’s how they control the narrative.It’s how they stay hidden.It’s how they keep you confused, apologizing, and questioning your own memory. And worst of all?It’s how they convince everyone else that they’re… Read More 🧠 Most Abusers Are Pathological Liars — And That’s How They Get Away With It
After divorce or separation — especially from an emotionally or physically abusive relationship — the idea of jumping straight into cohabitation or full-time partnership can feel overwhelming, even triggering. For many healing women, the best kind of relationship post-trauma isn’t one that consumes or demands, but one that complements your healing journey. That’s why the part-time… Read More The Joy of a “Part-Time” Relationship: Healing, Autonomy, and Love on Your Own Terms
Some words stick in your memory like a splinter in the soul. I remember being accused of having a dysfunctional family relationship — by his sister.The same sister who declared she’d never leave the UK because of her strong ties to family. The same one who knew full well that her brother was preventing me — emotionally, financially, and logistically — from… Read More “Oh, the Hypocrisy of It All”: When the Ones Who Restrict Your Family Ties Accuse You of Being the Dysfunctional One
It’s funny what memories float up on a hot summer’s night in Spain.Tonight, sitting outside with my loyal companion Ellie — my beloved black Labrador — I found myself thinking about my trip to Perth, Australia. A trip that should have been joyful. A reunion with my daughter, her husband, and my grandson, whom I… Read More ✨“A Basic Human Right: When Visiting Family Is Treated Like a Crime”✨
It’s one of the most damaging myths survivors are told: “You just need to kiss and make up.”“All couples fight — you just have to let it go.”“Stop bringing up the past.” No. Let’s get one thing absolutely clear. An argument is a disagreement.Abuse is a pattern of power, control, and harm. ☑️ Arguments happen between… Read More Let’s Get One Thing Clear: A Fight is One Thing. Abuse is Something Else.
💫 Core Traits of the ESFP Personality: 1. Extraverted (E):ESFPs thrive on connection. You gain energy from being around people, and you often feel most alive when you’re fully engaged with others — whether that’s hosting a dinner party, leading a spontaneous road trip, or being the heart of a celebration. You’re approachable, charming, and… Read More This was my job in HR in my old life – Myers Briggs Personality Types
Because one heals you — and the other keeps you hooked. Let’s talk about it.Because for those of us who’ve been in toxic relationships, the lines can blur.We’ve been conditioned to associate intensity with love, chaos with chemistry, and adrenaline with intimacy.So when we finally experience something healthy — calm, grounded, mutual — it can feel… almost foreign. But the body knows… Read More 💔💗 The Difference Between Make-Up Sex and Trauma Bond Sex
We’ve all heard about “make-up sex” — that fiery, passionate reconnection that often follows a heated argument. For some couples, it can be incredibly bonding. For others, it can be confusing, or even retraumatizing. So when is it healthy — and when is it not? 🧠 From a neuroscience perspective: After conflict, our nervous systems are activated —… Read More 💬 Sex After a Disagreement: Healthy or Harmful?
Because real love doesn’t mean never fighting — it means knowing how to fight fair. Let’s be honest:Even the healthiest couples bicker about nonsense. “You clearly said left.” “No, YOU were the one who wanted the beige towels!” “It’s not about the dishwasher, it’s about how I feel when you dismiss the dishwasher situation.” We’ve all been there.The real… Read More 🧯Repair vs. Ruin: What Healthy Conflict Looks Like
