Tag: narcissistic-abuse

Abuse as a choice!

One of the most common misconceptions is that abuse stems from uncontrollable anger. This belief suggests that abusers “lose control” in moments of heightened emotion, portraying them as volatile and unpredictable. However, the reality is far more calculated.

Abuse is not about losing control; it is about maintaining control. Abusers selectively direct their aggression and manipulative tactics toward their victims—often their partners or family members—while appearing composed in other areas of their lives. They don’t lash out at work, with friends, or in public because they understand the consequences in those settings. This selective targeting underscores that their behavior is deliberate, serving to exert dominance and instill fear rather than being an uncontrollable response to anger.… Read More Abuse as a choice!

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Framing Control as Love

Manipulation in relationships often comes in subtle, insidious forms, especially when disguised as love and care. For those who’ve endured such tactics, the realization of what was happening can feel both liberating and sobering. When combined with controlling demands and even abuse, these behaviors create an environment of isolation and dependency. This article explores the… Read More Framing Control as Love

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“I’m Doing This for Us”

Ending a manipulative and abusive relationship is an act of courage and self-preservation. It often takes time, reflection, and a deep understanding of unhealthy patterns to break free. Manipulative behaviors, particularly those cloaked as love, can be insidious. When combined with physical abuse, they create a deeply harmful dynamic that can leave lasting scars. This… Read More “I’m Doing This for Us”

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Rejection and Shifting Dynamics Among Family and Friends

Guilt and Cognitive Dissonance: Family members who were manipulated by the abuser may struggle with feelings of guilt or cognitive dissonance. They may have spent years supporting the abuser or dismissing the victim’s experience. When the truth is revealed, they may feel personally responsible for enabling the abuse, even if they were unaware of the full extent of the manipulation. This can create inner turmoil as they reconcile their past actions with the new reality.

Shifting Allegiances: Some family members might begin to question their loyalty to the abuser, especially if they realize they were complicit in enabling the abuse. This may result in them distancing themselves from the abuser or shifting their support to the victim, which can be empowering for the victim but also destabilizing for family dynamics.… Read More Rejection and Shifting Dynamics Among Family and Friends

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Working with a fully trained psychologist

Psychologists can help you recognize the tactics used by abusers, such as gaslighting, financial control, and emotional manipulation. Understanding these behaviors makes it easier to see that the abuse was not your fault.

They can help you identify patterns across different areas of the relationship that you may not have connected before, revealing the full extent of the control.Hearing a professional confirm, “Yes, this is abuse,” can be profoundly validating, especially if you’ve been gaslit into believing otherwise.

They create a safe space where your feelings, fears, and experiences are acknowledged without judgment.… Read More Working with a fully trained psychologist

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

The Strength of Stepping Away

Stepping away from an abusive or toxic situation is like clearing the fog that’s been clouding your vision for so long. When you’re caught in the middle of manipulation and control, it’s incredibly difficult to see the full picture. Abusers thrive on confusion, gaslighting, and emotional exhaustion, which can make it almost impossible to recognize the patterns of harm. But once you step back—physically, emotionally, or both—you gain clarity, perspective, and the strength to rebuild.… Read More The Strength of Stepping Away

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Double Standards

Double standard is a common tactic in abusive relationships, and it’s incredibly frustrating and demeaning. When an abuser sets one rule for you and your children or grandchildren, while treating their own family with favoritism or entitlement, they’re creating a dynamic designed to assert control, diminish your worth, and reinforce their power.… Read More Double Standards

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Isolated from family and friends for decades

Being isolated from family and friends for decades due to an abuser’s manipulation is one of the most devastating forms of control. Abusers deliberately sever these connections to leave their victims dependent, vulnerable, and without a support system. This kind of isolation doesn’t just create loneliness—it erodes a person’s sense of self, making it harder to see a way out or to believe in a world where they are loved and supported.… Read More Isolated from family and friends for decades

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