Questions to Ask When Trying to Understand the Dynamics of a Relationship

No single answer proves that abuse or financial control has occurred. However, asking thoughtful questions can help identify patterns of coercive control, manipulation, or unhealthy relationship dynamics. Communication and Openness Are people free to speak openly, or do they appear afraid of saying the wrong thing? Do family members or friends avoid discussing certain topics?… Read More Questions to Ask When Trying to Understand the Dynamics of a Relationship

What to Do If You Notice These Warning Signs

If several of these warning signs are present, don’t ignore them or assume they will improve with time. Abuse often escalates rather than disappears. Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, take those feelings seriously. Don’t allow yourself to become isolated from family and friends. Maintain your own support network. Continue your hobbies, work, and… Read More What to Do If You Notice These Warning Signs

Warning Signs of Abuse in a New Relationship

Abuse rarely begins with obvious violence. It often starts with subtle behaviours that become more controlling over time. While no single sign proves someone is abusive, a pattern of these behaviours should never be ignored. Pay Attention to Their History Do they have a history of abusive or controlling relationships? Do former partners describe similar… Read More Warning Signs of Abuse in a New Relationship

Looking Beyond First Impressions: Recognising Patterns of Abuse

Abusive people rarely introduce themselves as abusive. Many are charming, successful, funny and well-liked. Friends, neighbours and colleagues may describe them as kind, generous or helpful. That is why it is so important to look beyond first impressions. Abuse is rarely revealed by one incident. It is recognised through consistent patterns of behaviour over time. Don’t… Read More Looking Beyond First Impressions: Recognising Patterns of Abuse

Marriage Guidance Is Not a Treatment for Abuse

One of the most damaging myths surrounding domestic abuse is the belief that marriage counselling can fix it. It can’t. Healthy relationships experience disagreements, communication problems, financial pressures and periods of emotional distance. Marriage counselling can often help couples work through these issues because both partners are willing to listen, take responsibility and work together. Abuse is… Read More Marriage Guidance Is Not a Treatment for Abuse

“Why could everyone else see it, and I couldn’t?”

That is one of the questions almost every survivor asks themselves: “Why could everyone else see it, and I couldn’t?” The answer is usually much simpler—and kinder to yourself—than you think. You didn’t meet the person everyone else eventually saw. You met the version of him that was charming, attentive, affectionate, and convincing. Abusive people… Read More “Why could everyone else see it, and I couldn’t?”

Does It Ever End?

Sometimes it feels as though every time one question is answered, another emerges. Just when you think you’ve reached the end, another letter arrives. Another email. Another message. Another person quietly steps forward and says, “There’s something you should know.” Some knew him years ago. Some knew him in another country. Some knew him long… Read More Does It Ever End?

Sadism

Sadism in families refers to situations where a family member gains satisfaction, pleasure, a sense of power, or emotional gratification from causing another family member pain, distress, humiliation, fear, or suffering. This does not always involve physical violence. In many families, sadistic behaviour is emotional or psychological. Examples can include: Deliberately humiliating a child, partner,… Read More Sadism