The Moment I Thought Abuse Was Over — And Why It Wasn’t

I was finished with abuse the moment I decided to move to Spain on my own. I had found a small, manageable, affordable property.It was realistic.It was sustainable.It gave me safety, autonomy, and breathing space. I was ready to start again — without chaos, without control, without fear. But I was convinced otherwise. I was told that… Read More The Moment I Thought Abuse Was Over — And Why It Wasn’t

Strangulation is not about the situation.It is about the person who chooses to use it.

The Short Answer Why Strangulation Is Different Strangulation isn’t an impulsive shove or shouted argument. It is: Research consistently shows that non-fatal strangulation is one of the strongest predictors of future severe violence and homicide. Once someone has crossed that line, the risk profile changes permanently. Is It the Situation or the Person? It is the person.… Read More Strangulation is not about the situation.It is about the person who chooses to use it.

Keeping it in the family

When bullying, abuse, and harassment “run in the family,” you’re not dealing with isolated bad behaviour — you’re dealing with a relational system that has normalised cruelty as a way of bonding, regulating power, and enforcing loyalty. This is recognised in psychology, trauma work, and increasingly in law. What it actually means when abuse runs in a family It… Read More Keeping it in the family

Mental cruelty from the family of an abuser — what it is

Mental cruelty by an abuser’s family occurs when relatives knowingly or recklessly engage in behaviours that reinforce, enable, excuse, or extend the abuser’s control, causing psychological harm and undermining the victim’s autonomy, safety, or credibility. This is sometimes called: They may not hit you.They may never raise their voice.But the harm is systemic and strategic. How… Read More Mental cruelty from the family of an abuser — what it is

Physical cruelty vs Mental (psychological) cruelty

Core difference (in one line) Both are abuse.Both are legally relevant.Neither requires “bad intentions” — only harm + pattern. 1. Physical cruelty Definition Physical cruelty is the intentional or reckless infliction of bodily harm, pain, or physical intimidation to control, punish, or dominate another person. What it looks like Key features Legal clarity 📌 Law focuses on:… Read More Physical cruelty vs Mental (psychological) cruelty

Strong, intelligent women are not targeted despite their strength.They are often targeted because of it.

Here’s why, clearly and without myth. 1. Strength Looks Like a Resource to a Predator Abusive personalities don’t look for “weakness” in the way people imagine. They scan for: To them, this signals: “This person can absorb pressure, adapt, and keep functioning.” That’s not romance. That’s resource assessment. 2. Intelligence Enables Rationalisation (Early On) Highly intelligent… Read More Strong, intelligent women are not targeted despite their strength.They are often targeted because of it.

Threat Detection

This manoeuvre has a name and a function. What this tactic is called It sits at the intersection of: In domestic-abuse and coercive-control literature, it’s often described as“restricting the victim’s social world to control the narrative.” What’s really happening psychologically When someone says something like: “I don’t think it’s a good idea for your sister-in-law… Read More Threat Detection