The Four Horsemen of Relationship Breakdown (Gottman Method)

John Gottman identified four communication patterns that predict relationship failure with over 90% accuracy.They are called The Four Horsemen because once they dominate a relationship, emotional safety collapses. These four patterns are: 1️⃣ Criticism – Attacking the person, not the behaviour What it sounds like: Psychological impact: Criticism attacks identity, not actions.It tells the nervous system: “You are the problem.” Neuropsychology: Criticism activates… Read More The Four Horsemen of Relationship Breakdown (Gottman Method)

Neuroscience & Psychology Perspective – living in a parallel universe

1. Cognitive Dissonance & Denial Systems (on their side) If his relatives are still sending cards addressed to Mr & Mrs, 17 months after separation, this strongly suggests: In simple terms: Their brains are protecting them from discomfort by freezing reality in time. 2. Family System Psychology — “Homeostasis” In family psychology, systems resist change. When a long-term… Read More Neuroscience & Psychology Perspective – living in a parallel universe

Trauma recovery often feels like time travel.

When you live for years in survival mode — emotional suppression, hyper-vigilance, constant adaptation — your nervous system is focused only on one thing: getting through. You don’t live.You endure. Psychologically, this creates a version of you built for survival, not for authenticity.You silence your needs.You shrink your emotions.You disconnect from parts of yourself just to… Read More Trauma recovery often feels like time travel.

For a long time, life felt like Groundhog Day.

I knew exactly what was coming:misery, tension, negativity, judgment, emotional exhaustion. Every day was about treading water — suppressing my emotions, shrinking myself, putting on a brave face, surviving instead of living. That kind of survival changes you.It teaches you to endure.To adapt.To silence yourself. But now…I can finally relax. I can finally be me. No judgment.No abuse.No fear.… Read More For a long time, life felt like Groundhog Day.

I am choosing high vibration, healing, and alignment.

I release what no longer serves my growth.I welcome peace, clarity, abundance, and joy. Every day, I intentionally raise my energy through:✨ gratitude✨ positive thinking✨ self-respect✨ emotional awareness✨ conscious intention What I focus on, expands.What I believe in, strengthens.What I nurture, flourishes. I am grateful for how far I’ve come.I trust where I am going.I… Read More I am choosing high vibration, healing, and alignment.

Positive thinking is not denial.

Healing and staying positive isn’t about pretending everything is fine.It’s about choosing a mindset that supports growth, peace, and emotional freedom. Positive thinking is not denial.It is direction. Affirmations help retrain the nervous system and subconscious mind — especially after long periods of stress, trauma, or emotional depletion.What we repeatedly tell ourselves becomes the foundation of how… Read More Positive thinking is not denial.

Healing doesn’t end when you start feeling better.

That’s often when the real work begins. Psychologically, healing is not about returning to who you were before —it’s about integrating what you survived and becoming someone stronger, wiser, and more self-aware. When the pain eases, clarity increases.You begin to see patterns.You recognise red flags.You understand what you tolerated, adapted to, and survived. This stage is about continuation, not… Read More Healing doesn’t end when you start feeling better.

Revenge!

People often ask me why I don’t seek revenge. The truth is — I’ve had enough people to deal with.I don’t need to become one of them. As time passes, I no longer feel the need.I would rather spend my energy on my healing, my peace, and my life.Life is precious — and I refuse to waste… Read More Revenge!

Healing brings clarity.

Sometimes it’s only when you step away from someone that clarity begins. When distance allows you to breathe.When healing starts.When the fog lifts. That’s when you begin to remember the small things.And suddenly, they don’t feel small anymore. The stories that never quite added up.The lies that kept changing.The contradictions.The details that shifted. Because if someone is going… Read More Healing brings clarity.