For survivors, waiting often became a way of life. You may have spent years waiting for an abuser to change, waiting for apologies that never came, waiting for the day things “got better.” That pattern can linger even when the relationship ends. You find yourself falling back into limbo—waiting for someone new to decide what… Read More Stop Wasting Your Precious Time: Reclaiming Your Power After Abuse
When it comes to relationships, the real question isn’t “What do these actions mean?” but “Do our intentions line up?” It’s so easy to get caught up analyzing words, excuses, silences, or mixed signals. We tell ourselves to be patient, to wait and see, to hope that one day the other person will come around. But here’s the… Read More Stop Wasting Your Precious Time: When Intentions Don’t Align
When you’ve lived through trauma, uncertainty itself can feel unsafe. That’s why dealing with evasive people — those who dodge questions, give vague answers, or go silent — can be so triggering. Your nervous system craves clarity, yet their avoidance creates confusion that echoes old wounds. Here are 5 trauma-informed strategies to help you protect… Read More 🛡️ 5 Trauma-Informed Steps for Handling Evasive People
2. Psychological Dynamics of Evasive People The important piece: their evasiveness is about them, not you. Trauma makes you feel like it’s personal or your fault, but often it’s a reflection of their own fear, immaturity, or hidden motives. 3. How to Handle Them (Trauma-Informed Strategies) A. Regulate Your Nervous System First B. Create Psychological Safety for Yourself C.… Read More 1. Why Evasiveness Feels So Triggering in Trauma
When someone is evasive, ignores a direct question, or makes excuses instead of answering, it feels not only rude, but also psychologically unsettling. Let’s unpack it through both psychology and neuroscience. 1. Why Some People Avoid Direct Answers (Psychology) 2. The Neuroscience of Evasiveness When someone perceives a question as threatening, their amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) activates. This can trigger: In these moments,… Read More Evasive
Leaving behind abuse and stepping into a new life with a new partner, in a new place, can feel both exhilarating and terrifying. Survivors often describe it as carrying two suitcases: one packed with hope, and the other with echoes of the past. Psychology and neuroscience help us understand why this transition can feel so… Read More 🌍 Starting Over: The Neuroscience of Building a New Life After Abuse
Starting a new life with a new partner in a different place is one of the biggest transitions someone can make, especially if they’re carrying the after-effects of abuse. Psychology and neuroscience give us some helpful insight into why this feels both liberating and frightening at the same time. 🧠 The Neuroscience of Starting Over 💡 The… Read More The Psychology of a Fresh Start
(Recognising When Abuse Becomes Life-Threatening) 1. Escalating Control 2. Verbal & Psychological Threats 3. Physical Warning Signs 4. High-Risk Red Flags 🚩 (If any of these are “yes,” the danger is severe and immediate) 5. Gut Feeling ✅ How to use this tool: 🛡 Safety Next Steps
Abuse doesn’t always start with something that looks “dangerous.” It can creep in slowly—controlling behaviour, put-downs, silent treatments, financial restrictions—before escalating into real threats to safety. The shift from “abuse” to “dangerous abuse” is often when the abuser begins crossing invisible lines of safety, and it can happen gradually or suddenly. Here are some key… Read More Dangerous
Bhajan Kaur was killed by her son after he was arrested on suspicion of coercive and controlling behaviour. Mary Haley was killed by her son at home after he had spent weeks demanding money from her. Sally Poynton was killed by her son after he was discharged from a mental health unit without a diagnosis… Read More Killing of women by men
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 