There are people who quietly get on with real illness—appointments, treatments, uncertainty—and say very little about it.No performance. No audience. Just strength. And then there are others who seem to stay in the story of being unwell…long after they’ve been told they’re okay. Same narrative.Same sympathy.Same need for concern. Even when life, quite clearly, has moved on.… Read More Something I’ve noticed…

You know the ones… “How are you?”“Where are you living?”“Are you moving?”“Where’s your ex now?”“Have you seen him?” On the surface, just questions.But if you understand human behaviour, you know—they’re rarely just questions. People are wired to make sense of things.To fill in the gaps.To assess risk, safety, stability… even when it’s not their story to analyse.… Read More I’ve had some interesting conversations the past few days.

The reality is, for most, there’s no reward—only risk.Risk of not being believed.Risk of being judged.Risk of shame, humiliation, and having your life picked apart. So when someone finds the courage to speak, it’s rarely for attention or gain.It’s because staying silent has become even more unbearable. Do false stories exist? Rarely—but yes.And that’s exactly… Read More People don’t speak about abuse lightly.

Because silence protects the wrong person.And sometimes, it costs lives. It would be irresponsible to look the other way, to minimise it, to dress it up as “private” or “complicated” when someone is being harmed behind closed doors. You never know whose life it’s touching. What if it was your own family?Your mother.Your sister.Your daughter.Your… Read More I will never stay silent about abuse.

In my work, I’ve supported a lot of people through trauma, recovery, and rebuilding their lives after abuse. But there’s one boundary I don’t blur: I don’t treat abusers. Not because I don’t understand the psychology.Not because I haven’t seen the patterns.But because abuse is a choice—and accountability matters. In my experience, when someone who… Read More I don’t treat abusers.

The “late-stage caregivers.” They appear right at the final chapter—suddenly devoted, suddenly available,suddenly with all the time in the world. People they barely checked on before are now“under their wing,”spoken about with great concern and even greater visibility. It’s quite the transformation. You’ll hear phrases like“I’m just stepping in to help”delivered with the kind of dedication… Read More And then there’s another category entirely…

Funny how the “twice-a-year” visitors start multiplying over time. At first it’s just them—quick appearance, polite nod, duty done.Then suddenly there’s a partner in tow.Then another face.Then someone who’s “always meant to come.” It slowly turns into less of a visit… and more of a guest list. Smiles all round, of course.Lots of interest. Lots… Read More Funny how the “twice-a-year” visitors start multiplying over time.

There’s a special kind of relative… you know the ones. They appear twice a year like a calendar reminder no one set.Walk in with a polite smile, do the obligatory “how are you,” sit just long enough to be seen… and then disappear again for another six months. But don’t worry—they’re very involved.Just not to your face.… Read More There’s a special kind of relative… you know the ones.

After three decades of “no, you can’t,” “that’s not possible,” “that will be difficult,” “that will cause problems,” I’ve finally reached a very satisfying stage of life: “Yes. You can.” It turns out that’s a real sentence. Fully usable. No drama required. For years I thought life decisions came with emotional consequences, paperwork and a side of… Read More YES I can