Aspect	Normal Anger	Abusive Behavior (Physical / Psychological)
Trigger	Situational frustration, specific problem	Attempts to control, intimidate, or dominate others
Expression	Shouting, tense, short-term upset, cools down	Yelling, insults, threats, manipulation, or physical harm
Duration	Temporary, resolves after conflict	Persistent, ongoing, patterns of abuse
Impact on Others	May annoy or upset others, but respects boundaries	Causes fear, trauma, anxiety, and emotional pain
Responsibility	Accepts responsibility, apologizes	Blames others, denies wrongdoing, justifies abuse
Emotional Control	Can regulate and calm down	Out of control or intentionally cruel, uses anger as power
Intent	Express emotion, solve problem	Control, intimidate, hurt, manipulate, or punish
Physical Action	Rarely physical, accidental if at all	Hitting, pushing, grabbing, property damage, or threats of violence
Psychological	Frustration, mild irritation	Gaslighting, belittling, humiliation, isolation, intimidation

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Key Takeaways

• Normal anger is temporary, situation-specific, and doesn’t harm others.
• Abusive behavior is repetitive, controlling, and harmful, either physically, psychologically, or both.
• Warning signs of abuse: threats, intimidation, excessive criticism, gaslighting, isolation, and physical aggression.