| Feature | Genuine | Exploitative |
|---|---|---|
| Brain Chemistry | Activates oxytocin → trust, calm, bonding | Manipulates dopamine → excitement, charm; spikes cortisol → stress, confusion |
| Emotional Impact | Feels safe, grounded, and consistent | Feels thrilling at first, then confusing and destabilising |
| Behavior | Actions align with words; stories add up | Stories and actions often contradict; inconsistencies appear over time |
| Intuition | Nervous system feels at ease | Nervous system signals tension, doubt, or suspicion |
| Social/Relational Effect | Encourages connection and mutual support | Often isolates, pressures, or exploits social trust |
| Long-Term | Builds lasting trust and healthy bonding | Creates short-term highs, long-term stress, or mistrust |
Key Takeaway:
If someone feels exciting but leaves you tense, confused, or doubting, trust your nervous system’s signals over charm or surface-level chemistry.
