Financial abuse often develops gradually and is easy to miss while you are inside it. If several of the following are present, it is not miscommunication or poor money management—it is coercive control.

Access & Control

• You do not have equal access to bank accounts, investments, or financial records
• You must ask for money or justify everyday spending
• Your partner controls passwords, PINs, or online access
• Major financial decisions are made without your knowledge or consent

Information Withholding

• You are discouraged from asking questions about finances
• Documents, statements, or legal paperwork are hidden or “handled” for you
• You discover accounts, debts, or assets after the fact
• Wills, trusts, or financial plans exist without your involvement

Restriction & Dependency

• You are prevented from working, studying, or advancing financially
• Your income is taken, monitored, or redirected
• You are told you “wouldn’t cope” managing money
• Financial dependence is framed as protection or care

Labour Without Security

• You provide unpaid caregiving, childcare, or domestic labour
• You support a partner’s career or stability while yours is limited
• Your contributions are minimised or dismissed
• There is no financial protection or recognition for your labour

Fear, Compliance & Consequences

• Spending money causes anxiety or conflict
• Financial independence leads to punishment, anger, or withdrawal
• You fear the financial impact of leaving
• Money is used to control behaviour or silence you

Separation & Future Control

• Financial abuse continues after separation
• Legal processes are used to delay, exhaust, or intimidate
• Assets are hidden or moved when accountability approaches
• Inheritance or future security is manipulated or threatened

Your Inner Signals

• You feel confused, anxious, or ashamed around money
• You doubt your competence despite managing households or careers
• You sense something is wrong but can’t quite prove it
• Clarity only comes with distance or professional support

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If This Checklist Resonates

Financial abuse does not require physical violence.
It does not require cruelty to be obvious.
And it does not disappear with time, loyalty, or patience.

If you recognise yourself here:

• You are not imagining it
• You are not irresponsible
• You are not “bad with money”

You are responding to a system designed to restrict you.

Awareness is the first interruption of control.