No one is born abusive. Abuse is learned, shaped by experience, environment, and choices. People are born with needs for love, safety, and connection — not control, cruelty, or manipulation.

Abuse usually develops from a mix of:

Early trauma or neglect – witnessing or experiencing harm can normalize aggression

Learned behaviour – copying unhealthy patterns seen in family, peers, or culture

Unhealed emotional pain – turning inner hurt outward onto others

Insecurity or fear – using control to mask vulnerability

Entitlement or distorted beliefs – believing others exist to serve, obey, or tolerate mistreatment

Even if someone experiences these factors, becoming abusive is still a choice. People learn to respect or harm — abuse is not inevitable, and accountability is essential.