START
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Step 1: Initial Observation
- Notice unusual charm, flattery, or love-bombing?
- Frequent contradictions in stories or promises?
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├─ YES → Step 2
└─ NO → Continue cautious observation
Step 2: Red Flag Assessment
- Attempts to isolate you from friends/family?
- Chronic manipulation or gaslighting?
- Consistent disregard for boundaries?
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├─ YES → Step 3
└─ NO → Monitor behavior; maintain boundaries
Step 3: Emotional Impact Check
- Do you feel anxious, confused, guilty, or unsafe?
- Are you constantly trying to “fix” them?
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├─ YES → Step 4
└─ NO → Reinforce boundaries; continue observation
Step 4: Support Network Consultation
- Share concerns with trusted friends/family or professional advisor
- Document patterns, incidents, and emotional impact
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Step 5: Decide on Engagement Strategy - Reduce emotional investment
- Limit personal disclosures
- Maintain independence in finances, schedules, and decisions
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Step 6: Escalation Recognition - Persistent lying, threats, intimidation
- Enjoyment of your distress
- Increased isolation or control attempts
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├─ YES → Step 7 (Exit Planning)
└─ NO → Step 5 (continue cautious engagement)
Step 7: Exit Planning
- Safely disengage from relationship
- Secure finances, communication, and documents
- Seek legal or professional support if needed
- Avoid confrontation if risk is high
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Step 8: Post-Exit Recovery - Process trauma with therapy or support networks
- Rebuild boundaries and trust in self
- Reflect on patterns to prevent future high-risk entanglements
Notes for Use
- Observation first, action second: early detection is key.
- Document everything: behavioral evidence is crucial if legal action or safety planning is needed.
- Safety prioritization: if there’s a risk of physical harm, involve authorities or professionals before disengaging.
- Consult professionals: therapists, lawyers, or domestic abuse advocates can guide complex situations.
- Trauma-informed approach: recognize trauma bonding patterns to avoid relapse into manipulation.
