Admitting one’s sexual orientation—such as finally acknowledging being gay—doesn’t automatically change abusive behavior patterns. Abuse is not caused by orientation, but by the underlying dynamics of control, entitlement, insecurity, and emotional regulation.

• If the abuser’s violence is rooted in internalized shame or denial of their sexuality, then coming out may reduce some of that inner conflict. In those cases, the “double life” and projection of self-hatred onto a partner can lessen, which might reduce some abusive impulses.
• However, if the abuse is primarily about power and control, it usually continues regardless of the partner’s gender or sexual orientation. Abusers tend to replicate the same behaviors across relationships.
• Research on same-sex intimate partner violence (IPV) shows that rates of abuse are similar to heterosexual relationships, though it can manifest differently (e.g., using threats of “outing” as a control tactic).

So, the short answer: Coming out may relieve some sources of inner conflict, but it does not by itself “cure” abusive behavior. If the abuser hasn’t addressed their entitlement, need for control, or inability to handle rejection, the abuse often remains the same.