- In healthy relationships, a prenuptial agreement is about clarity, fairness, and security for both partners.
- It’s a legal safeguard in case of divorce, especially if one person has prior assets, children, or a business.
- Ideally, it comes from a place of mutual respect and transparency.
2. When It’s a Red Flag
If someone insists on a prenup while simultaneously pushing financial entanglements that benefit them, psychology suggests ulterior motives. Examples:
- Increasing the mortgage: often leaves the other partner tied to debt long-term.
- Pouring money into “their” property: builds their asset base while using shared or your money.
- Asymmetry of risk vs reward: if one party benefits disproportionately, it stops being about fairness and starts being about exploitation.
This points to instrumental thinking — treating the partner as a means to an end rather than an equal.
3. Psychological Profile of Someone Who Does This
- Narcissistic traits: They may see relationships as transactions, not emotional bonds. The partner is a “resource” to fund their lifestyle or ambitions.
- Antisocial traits: Willingness to deceive, manipulate, and financially exploit without guilt.
- Short-term vs long-term lens: They focus on immediate gain (property value, financial leverage), not on building trust and stability.
- Cognitive dissonance: They may still claim love and commitment, but their actions prioritize self-interest over mutual good.
4. Neuroscience Layer
People who exploit financially often show reduced empathy circuitry — weaker activity in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. This makes it easier for them to ignore how their actions burden a partner.
- Instead of guilt, their brain may light up in reward centers (striatum, ventral tegmental area) when they “win” in negotiations or extract resources.
- Over time, this “reward from exploitation” can become reinforcing — much like an addiction.
5. So, Who Does This?
In plain language:
- Someone who sees love as a business deal.
- Someone who values control, gain, and self-protection over partnership.
- Potentially, someone with narcissistic, psychopathic, or exploitative traits.
It’s not the prenup itself that’s the problem — it’s the context and intent.
When paired with financial manipulation, it signals a mindset of extraction, not union.
