A Psychological Reflection on Love, Loss & Self-Rediscovery
I’ve been married twice.
Two completely different men.
Two completely different stories.
And two different versions of me.
đź’Ť The First Marriage: Young Love and Real Beginnings
I married young — 18 years old.
He was good-looking, charismatic, and in the beginning… he truly loved me.
We started with nothing.
Built a life together from scratch.
Bought a house. Had two beautiful children.
We shared holidays, cars, dancing, great music, good food, and the kind of social life that made memories out of weekends.
By the time we were 30, we had an amazing home, a full life — a real partnership… on the surface.
But beneath it all, one truth lingered:
He loved other women too.
And sometimes, love — even if it’s passionate, exciting, or shared — isn’t enough to survive betrayal.
That chapter lasted 14 years. It shaped me. It taught me love, heartbreak, and what it means to lose something you helped build from the ground up.
đź’” The Second Marriage: A Completely Different Story
It happened quickly.
I was travelling, working a job I loved, independent, vibrant, alive.
I bought my own house, my own money, my own dreams.
But this second marriage?
It was the opposite of everything I had known.
From the beginning, something was missing:
A coldness. A lack of real connection.
An emotional absence that I ignored, because I was so determined to “make it work.”
Behind closed doors, the story was stark:
- Physical abuse
- Emotional manipulation
- Financial control
- And an ever-growing sense that I was disappearing inside my own life
And still, I stayed. Not for a year. Not for five.
But for 32 years.
Why?
Because somewhere deep down, I thought it was my job to hold it all together.
To prove I could make it last.
To prove I was lovable — by not leaving.
🧠From a Psychological Perspective
These two marriages reveal something many survivors come to understand only later:
- We don’t always choose from logic — we often choose from wounds
- We can stay in unhealthy relationships not because we’re weak, but because we were conditioned to over-function
- We cling to survival stories when we haven’t yet written our own story of self-worth
The first marriage showed me what it was like to build something real — and also what it feels like to be betrayed.
The second marriage taught me what happens when we ignore our intuition, override our needs, and confuse endurance with love.
✨ Now, I’m on My Own — And More Whole Than Ever
I’m not bitter.
I’m not broken.
I’m becoming — every day — the woman I was always meant to be.
✔ I’m healing
✔ I’m putting my needs and wants first
✔ I’m learning to love myself without permission or apology
✔ I’m writing a new narrative — one that starts and ends with me
For the first time in decades, I’m not fighting to be chosen.
I’ve already chosen myself.
💬 To Anyone Out There Wondering If It’s Too Late…
It’s not.
Whether you walked away after one year or thirty — healing is always possible.
Wholeness is always waiting.
And self-love is not a luxury.
It’s a homecoming.
You are not defined by who you married.
You are defined by how deeply you rise.
#TwoMarriagesOneMe #HealingJourney #SelfWorthOverSurvival #FromCodependentToConfident #EmotionalFreedom #BreakTheCycle #PostTraumaticGrowth #ChoosingMyselfFirst #LoveAfterAbuse #ReclaimYourMind #PsychologicalHealing #NoMoreSettling #StrongWomenRise
