A narcissist will often treat strangers with more kindness than they show their own family.
Why? Because admiration is their oxygen.
They crave external validation so intensely that they’ll go out of their way to impress people who barely know them — while devaluing, ignoring, or emotionally abusing those who love them most.
Behind closed doors, it’s a different story:
- Cold silence where warmth should be.
- Passive-aggressive digs masked as “jokes.”
- Gaslighting when you confront them.
- Blame when you express hurt.
- Control masked as “concern.”
- Rage masked as “passion.”
And yet in public, they’re charming.
Gracious.
Funny.
Generous.
They might even be seen as a “pillar of the community.”
But home is where the truth lives.
And if you’ve lived with a narcissist, you know:
They’ll destroy the peace of the home while flashing smiles in public.
This is why so many survivors feel invisible and invalidated.
Because no one sees what happens behind closed doors.
And when you try to speak up, people say:
“But they’re so lovely!”
“They’d never do that.”
“They’re nothing like that with me.”
Of course they aren’t.
You’re not the one they’re controlling.
Here’s the truth:
➡️ Public charm is not proof of private integrity.
➡️ A person’s true character is revealed in how they treat those they believe they don’t need to impress.
So if you’re questioning your reality because the world sees a “hero” and you’ve lived with a villain — trust your experience.
You are not crazy.
You are not overreacting.
You are waking up.
And you deserve to be safe, believed, and loved for real — not just when an audience is watching.
#NotThePersonYouThinkTheyAre #NarcissisticAbuse #EmotionalAbuseAwareness #BehindClosedDoors #PublicPersonaPrivateHell #TraumaInformedTruth #GaslightingRecovery #DomesticAbuseSurvivor #TrustYourGut #YouAreNotAlone
