There was a time when success was earned—not taken. A time when your word meant something, and integrity was the currency of character. But in today’s world, those values are often drowned out by a louder, shinier culture of entitlement, where some will stoop to unthinkable depths just to maintain a lifestyle they haven’t earned.

From a psychological perspective, this behavior isn’t just opportunistic—it’s manipulative. Pathological entitlement and narcissistic traits drive people to target those who are generous, grieving, or rebuilding after heartbreak. And sadly, the more empathetic and giving a person is, the more attractive they become to users and abusers.

These individuals aren’t always easy to spot. In fact, they often present as charming, successful, even self-made. But behind the façade lies a different truth—one carefully hidden from public view, often protected by their own families who are either in denial, complicit, or quietly benefitting from the illusion.

🧠 What’s Really Going On?
Psychologically speaking, many of these individuals exhibit:

• Narcissistic tendencies: They believe they are entitled to a certain lifestyle, regardless of the cost to others.
• Lack of empathy: They exploit emotional vulnerabilities without remorse.
• Facade management: They are skilled at curating an external image that conceals their true behavior.
• Chameleon behavior: They will shape-shift—sexually, socially, financially—to fit whatever narrative gets them what they want.

They seek out people who have something they want—whether it’s financial security, property, or emotional support—and they weave themselves into that person’s life with calculated precision. They will flirt, flatter, and feign affection. They will talk of futures and shared dreams. But in reality, it’s all a means to an end.

And when things unravel—as they inevitably do—you discover you weren’t in a relationship. You were in a transaction. One you didn’t know you were part of.

💔 The Emotional Aftermath
The impact on the person used can be devastating. It leads to:

• Deep betrayal trauma.
• Self-doubt and shame.
• PTSD-like symptoms.
• Financial loss and isolation.

Often, when you try to speak the truth, you’re gaslit not only by them but by those who still buy into their lies. “They couldn’t do that,” people say. “They seemed so lovely.” But that’s the point. Abusers don’t walk around wearing signs. They wear masks.

🧭 A Call for a Return to Integrity
Call me old-fashioned, but I was raised in a world where you worked for what you had, and you treated people with respect—not as stepping stones or safety nets. Honesty wasn’t optional—it was expected. And kindness wasn’t a weakness—it was the measure of who you were.

We need to bring those values back. Loudly. Unapologetically.

✨ To those who have been used, lied to, or left reeling from discovering someone’s hidden life: it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t “miss the signs”—you were simply trusting. And trust is not a flaw; it’s a strength.

To those who are navigating the painful truth of someone’s double life: speak your truth. Even if your voice shakes. Even if no one believes you yet.

And to those who think it’s okay to use others to fund your fantasy life—your charm won’t protect you forever. The truth always finds its voice.

This isn’t just a personal story—it’s a warning, an awakening, and a rallying cry to return to what really matters: truth, work ethic, empathy, and integrity.

Because no one has the right to rob another human being of their peace, their trust, or their security just to maintain a lifestyle built on lies.

#NotThePersonYouThinkTheyAre
#EmotionalAbuseAwareness
#PsychologicalManipulation
#IntegrityMatters
#EmotionalRecovery
#NarcissisticAbuseAwareness
#TruthTellersUnite

---

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment