🕸️ “Even Your Own Family Thinks You’re Overreacting…”

This is one of the most disorienting and deeply damaging tactics used in emotional abuse. When an abuser draws other family members into their manipulation, it not only amplifies the gaslighting, but also begins to erode the very relationships and support systems you once trusted. This tactic is called triangulation, and it is often wielded by individuals with high levels of narcissistic traits or those with personality disorders involving control and manipulation.

🕸️ “Even Your Own Family Thinks You’re Overreacting…”

The Psychological and Neurological Toll of Being Gaslit by a Group

(When Abusers Use Your Loved Ones as Weapons)

Imagine this:
You’re already second-guessing your feelings.
Then suddenly, your sister, a cousin, or even their child repeats the abuser’s words.
“Maybe you are too sensitive.”
“He didn’t mean it like that.”
“You’re always making drama.”

And just like that, the floor disappears from under you.

🧠 What’s Happening in the Brain?

This tactic doesn’t just mess with your emotions — it affects your brain chemistry and nervous system:

The Amygdala — your fear center — goes into overdrive, as trusted people become unpredictable and emotionally unsafe.
The Hippocampus, responsible for memory, begins to malfunction under chronic gaslighting — making it harder to piece together past events.
The Prefrontal Cortex, which governs logic and decision-making, is overwhelmed by emotional pain and doubt, making it difficult to trust yourself.
Oxytocin — the bonding hormone — becomes weaponized, as the people you love become part of your harm.

This is not just “toxic.”
It’s neurologically traumatic.

🎭 What Kind of Person Does This?

The person who manipulates others into taking their side or spreading doubt is typically:

🔹 High in Narcissistic Traits

Craves control and admiration.
Struggles with accountability.
Sees others (even family) as pawns to maintain power.

🔹 Emotionally Insecure or Paranoid

Sees disagreement as a threat.
Must dominate the narrative to feel secure.
Cannot tolerate being “the bad guy.”

🔹 Highly Charismatic in Public

Often viewed as charming, witty, or misunderstood.
Uses charm to win others over while privately undermining the victim.

🔹 Lacks Empathy

Sees the impact of their behavior but continues.
Can watch you cry, panic, or beg — and still blame you.

🔹 Prone to Triangulation

Brings third parties into personal conflicts.
Tells others their version of events first to control the narrative.
Frames the victim as “emotional,” “unstable,” or “vindictive.”

🔄 Triangulation: A Psychological Trap

Triangulation is when an abuser involves a third party (like his family, friends, or even children) to validate their narrative or apply pressure on the victim. This can sound like:

“Even your mum agrees with me.”
“I told the kids what you did.”
“Everyone knows how hard it is to deal with you.”

This isolates the victim, silences their voice, and confuses their reality.

💣 The Psychological Impact on the Victim

Alienation from family and support systems
Hypervigilance: Constantly walking on eggshells
Self-doubt and internalized guilt
Complex PTSD symptoms: Flashbacks, dissociation, memory issues
Shame spiral: Believing they’re the problem

Over time, the victim may shrink themselves, stop speaking up, and lose all confidence in their own perception.

💡 How to Reclaim Your Truth

Name the Tactic
You’re not imagining it — it’s triangulation, not “family drama.”
Go Gray Rock
Limit emotional response. Keep interactions minimal and factual with the manipulator.
Seek Independent Validation
Find therapists or support groups who understand coercive control and emotional abuse.
Document Interactions
Gaslighting relies on confusion. Writing things down helps you track patterns and stay grounded.
Rebuild Safe Circles
Identify who truly sees and hears you. Distance from enablers where needed.
Use Somatic and Neuro-Informed Healing
Healing the nervous system through grounding, breathwork, and trauma-informed therapy is key to reclaiming your reality.

🔓 Final Thoughts

If someone draws their family and your friends into their emotional abuse and uses them to make you doubt yourself — that is not love.
That is not “just a misunderstanding.”

That is a form of psychological warfare.

It takes immense courage to see through the fog, to name the manipulation, and to reclaim your voice. But it can be done — and you don’t have to do it alone.

You were never too emotional.
You were responding to emotional terrorism.

#EmotionalAbuse #Gaslighting #Triangulation #CoerciveControl #FamilyManipulation #NeuroscienceOfAbuse #TrustYourselfAgain #CPTSDRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseAwareness #YouAreNotAlone #TraumaInformedHealing

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment