“The Guest Who Always Needed More: When Entitlement Masquerades as Charm”
By Linda C J Turner Therapy

We’ve all met that guest — the one who, while appearing outwardly polite, expects different food, different treatment, or special arrangements at every gathering. It’s rarely about dietary needs or genuine limitations. Instead, it’s something more subtle — and more damaging. It’s a pattern of chronic entitlement, often found in individuals with narcissistic traits or low emotional intelligence.

Over time, you start to notice it.

• The one guest who asks for a different menu than everyone else.
• The one who assumes others enjoy going out of their way to cater specifically to them.
• The one who interprets tolerance as admiration, and inconvenience as privilege.
• And the one who truly believes that their uniqueness justifies the disruption they cause.

This behaviour is not just poor manners or selfishness. From a psychological lens, it’s deeply rooted in a fragile ego that demands validation through superiority. People like this often develop a sense of “specialness” in childhood — sometimes because they were overindulged, other times because they learned to protect their self-worth by distancing themselves from “the ordinary.”

What they don’t see — and often refuse to see — is the quiet withdrawal of others over time. The missing invitations. The avoided meetups. The polite but hollow responses. Social groups, especially those grounded in mutual respect and effort, don’t tolerate imbalance for long. The emotional labour of constantly managing someone else’s ego becomes too much.

Yet these individuals stay convinced they are admired — because to confront the truth would mean confronting the possibility that their behaviour has been alienating, not endearing.

Signs of This Type of Entitlement:

• Expectation of personalized treatment at shared events
• Belief that others enjoy serving them or going out of their way
• Dismissal of group norms in favour of personal preference
• Lack of gratitude or awareness of the effort others expend
• Viewing others’ accommodation as proof of admiration rather than tolerance

From the Outside Looking In

Those with emotional and social intelligence see straight through it. They pick up on the subtle eye rolls, the sighs, the silent reshuffling of plans behind the scenes. They know when someone is draining the group dynamic, even if no one directly says it.

Over time, the group adapts — not by confronting the entitled person (who would likely react defensively or with victimhood), but by simply disengaging. Less contact. Fewer invitations. Shorter conversations. Because people with genuine empathy don’t want to be used as props in someone else’s fantasy of superiority.

If You’ve Lived With This…

For those who’ve lived in the orbit of such a person — particularly in long-term relationships — the slow accumulation of emotional neglect and dismissal can be deeply damaging. You may have spent years being told that you’re “too sensitive” or that “people love doing things for me,” all while you watched the truth unfold in silence. You may have internalized blame for the way others distanced themselves, when in reality, they were quietly reacting to him.

But now you see it. And you’re allowed to name it.

Not every request for accommodation is narcissistic — but when the expectation of special treatment is chronic, unapologetic, and masked as charm, you’re likely dealing with someone whose entitlement runs deep.

And here’s the truth:
You are not unreasonable for wanting equality, consideration, and shared effort.
You are not cruel for stepping away from someone who demanded more than they ever gave.
And you are absolutely right to reclaim your peace from someone who only ever valued the spotlight — as long as it shone on them.

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment